Gay & Lesbian

When it comes to ‘hands on’ interaction, gay men are often at the front of the queue. From groping to grappling, fumbles and fondling, our fingers love to do the talking. But often we don’t realise the power that touching can have, so perhaps it’s just as well there are practitioners who teach the ‘art of touch’. Or, as trainer Andy Saich describes his workshops: ‘exploring love, sex and intimacy’.

Andy’s career path is unusual to say the least. From being a carpenter and roof thatcher in Denmark, he retrained as an aromatherapist and
reflexologist in London before getting involved in the sex-party scene in the early ’90s – he describes his job then as an ‘organiser of erotic gatherings’. But by the time he had over 500 men on his books, Andy was becoming more interested in the sensual side of the interaction.
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‘What struck me was how men behave differently after the sex has occurred – they would move into the centre of the room, become more touchy-feely, and more exploratory.’

Andy worked out various tricks of the trade to add a new dimension to the experience, making it more intimate, by ‘dressing’ the space, cutting out porn and introducing fun elements such as blindfolds and games.

‘I discovered I could re-invent the genre, so it was more about the erotic and not the sex itself: it frees up the agenda and opens up many more possibilities’.

Now Andy works under the umbrella of Gay Love Spirit, a team of 15 facilitators across Europe who run classes with different themes and at varying levels.

One participant, Adrian, came to his ‘art of touch’ workshop soon after he arrived in London, not knowing what to expect. ‘You go along as a blank canvas – it’s up to you as an individual to get out of it what you put in. What I liked is the way the facilitators aren’t prescriptive: Andy doesn’t tell you what you should feel, but what you might feel.’

The sessions, which vary from half-day, to two- and five-day residential, comprise a series of exercises designed to help you get to know yourself better, through physical and spiritual connections.

At his first workshop, Robert was a bit apprehensive, but by the end he was completely transfixed: ‘I didn’t want to waste any energy – I
wouldn’t even leave the room to go to the loo!’

He finds the simplest tasks the most effective. ‘Sitting in front of a partner and looking into his eyes for a long period or holding someone’s hand sends you into an altered state.’

There are breathing and trust exercises, movement games (with blindfolds), meditation and massage. This was Adrian’s highlight: ‘We finished the day with a three-way massage: it was terrifically powerful – like being in a permanent state of orgasm – there’s no finality to it, it doesn’t seem to have an ending.’

Of course, anything involving gay men, physical contact and nudity (clothing is optional on some activities) might sound like a mass orgy, and this is where the tantric element comes in. It’s about sexuality rather than sex, and at the end of each workshop, Andy goes through a ‘closing down’ ritual, dealing with issues like meeting up afterwards or dating within from the group.

The average age of participants is 40 (the youngest so far is 22, the oldest 84) and they’re not necessarily all gay – some straight and married men go along, too. There are also men coming off drugs, who want to rediscover how to reconnect without stimulants.

The other big issue is working with a man you’re not attracted to. ‘Personally, I find it challenging to partner someone who’s different to me,’ explains Robert. ‘And some of the workshops deal head on with who you do and don’t like the look of, how you project that outwards.’

Apparently, in Danish there’s a verb – ‘hygger sig’ – which literally means to hug oneself, or have a pleasant time with yourself. There’s no equivalent in English, but by exploring the personal touch Andy hopes that participants can share intimacy and closeness and discover something new: ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got!’

The next Gay Love Spirit workshop in London is the Art of Touch 2, Apr 12 & 13. For details, contact Andy Saich on 07966 502057/andysaich@ gaylovespirit.com; www.gaylovespirit.com.