Kids

For the past 13 months I have breastfed in public. Though that phrase is always a bit misleading; it sounds as if I were at home and thought: Oh! The baby’s hungry – where’s the nearest bus shelter? What I mean is, I haven’t stopped going out because I’ve chosen to to breastfeed my daughter. For many women, though, the thought of feeding in London can be daunting. I remember in the last weeks of my pregnancy rehearsing my comebacks to anyone who dared ask me to stop: ‘I don’t like watching you eat either’ or ‘If I were ten years younger and blonde, I bet you wouldn’t mind.’ But I’ve never had to use them, nor have any of the mothers I talked to for this piece.
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London being a liberal and multi-ethnic city really helps; it tends to be the British that have hang-ups about public suckling. As Nassali Atyam from Edmonton says, ‘In Uganda they’re often more offended if you don’t breastfeed your crying baby.’ I remember my first public BF: Brockwell Park café. As I undid my shiny new maternity bra, my milk shot across the room on to a man’s lasagne. He didn’t notice, I didn’t tell him. I often wonder if he benefited from the immunity boost.

Now I prefer a nice quiet corner. When people talk of breastfeeding ‘discreetly’ it sounds as if they’re ashamed, but as Claire Humphreys from Brixton says, ‘Sitting in the corner allows me to control the situation, especially if Lucas has any problems’. Also some babies get very distracted; feeding my daughter, Lily, on the porch of the Theatre Royal Stratford East was fine until she started waving, ‘Herro!’ at everyone walking past. ‘You soon learn to case a joint,’ says Nadine Evans. ‘Chair with arms, away from door and service area.’ But why is that corner always next to the gents’ loo? Your breasts may now be glorified Tetra Paks but most women still consider them private property. After comfortably feeding Della in public for 18 months, Erin McGuigan was shocked when ‘this guy in Putney pulled his chair right up close. He was sitting there saying “Beautiful!” It really freaked me out.’

Only one of the women in this piece has ever received an actual complaint – me. It was in KFC on Old Kent Road. Unexpectedly, a young mother shouted at the manager, ‘It’s disgusting; I don’t want my children seeing that.’ My first thought was to say, ‘Why? Are you worried they’ll want a nutritious meal for a change?’ but I ignored her, not wanting to upset Lily. (Oh, who am I kidding? Out of pure cowardice.) Interestingly, KFC told her it has no policy on breastfeeding, but the staff would not heat up bottles for insurance reasons. Seemingly, no American has sued for getting a cracked nipple on KFC premises.

So where are the best places? Large cafés are favoured, especially those in shops. Caroline Nichol likes Borders: ‘I grab a newspaper, grab the sofa in the corner and read while I feed Felix; I only had to pay for one once,when I had a squirting accident, and they do delicious cakes to make up for your lost calories.’ John Lewis got an all-round thumbs up, too. ‘They will even carry your tray if you’re pushing a buggy,’ says Humphreys. After a while you get sick of sitting in cafés and start looking for alternatives: parks, galleries, libraries. I have a particular soft spot for cemeteries; nobody bothers you and there’s something quite spiritual about nurturing a new life among those passed.

‘Ironically, it’s often places that try to be baby-friendly that get it wrong – Mothercare, M&S – many branches think that a loo and changing area is a pleasant place to feed!’ says Evans. ‘In Tesco, Brixton, I was right up against the nappy bin,’ says Carol Burke. Lily and I were joined in the Tate Modern ‘baby room’ by a boy doing a rather protracted poo,which he seemed to find as distressing as we did. Even separate rooms aren’t always great, ‘Mamas and Papas Regent Street was windowless, airless and the chair was like feeding Sarah on a bucking bronco’ said Atyam.But, overall, London is a surprisingly baby-friendly city, as Atyam found when she was caught short in a cold and seedy area: ‘I walked into an osteopaths – they were extremely welcoming.’

The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) (0870 444 8708/www.nct.org.uk) provides advice and support for breastfeeding mothers, as does international organisation La Leche League (www.laleche.org.uk).