Kids

‘Jeez, it wasn’t like this in our day,’ says the chap standing next to me as a tide of over a hundred boys (and a few girls), bedecked in David Beckham Academy blue strips, streams out of the air-conditioned canteen and on to the training pitches housed in two (not so air-conditioned) aircraft hangers.

We’re on the second day of a five-day course – and if the £265 cost makes you feel like you’ve been hit in the solar plexus with one of the legend’s free-kicks, considering what you’re getting for your money may ease the pain…

On arrival at 9am on Monday, the kids are taken off to be fitted with a free kit, returned to their parents for a quick check-over to make sure nothing’s too tight, and then whisked through the reception doors into a parent-free area, never to be seen again… until 3.30pm (which, in reality, usually turns out to be nearer 4pm, so there’s your child-care costs taken care of for a start). Feature continues

But it’s what goes on behind those doors that makes it all so impressive. From the moment the kids are inducted via a David Beckham video, it is made clear that the emphasis is on fun – this isn’t a vehicle to find new talent. Ages are noted and abilities quickly assessed, and the children are put into groups ensuring everything is as equal as can be – especially for end-of-day competitions.

Groups are then given country names and bibs in corresponding colours. My son, George, proudly sports the Spain bib and is immediately all smiles. The atmosphere is cheery but controlled, and general manager Alison Bullock says safety is paramount. ‘There’s no bullying, swearing or diving – that’s made clear early on. We’ve yet to ban anyone. What you see now,’ she tells me as the coaches huddle their teams around and distribute free water bottles, ‘is heaven. By Friday it will be like a zoo! By the end it’s all laughing and shouting and swapping phone numbers. Some of them really do leave with new best friends, and we get a lot of repeat custom.’

But it’s not all about ball-skills. Healthy eating is promoted, with mid-morning snacks and high-carb healthy lunches cooked on site and part of the package. Chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks are strongly discouraged and there’s not a vending machine to be seen.

In a classroom, for around an hour a day, kids learn bonding, maths and formations, through games based on fantasy football and Top Trumps. At last, George understands why defenders are just as important as attackers.

At the end of the day I negotiate the swarm of parents buzzing past Beckham memorabilia and into the canteen to collect their darlings. Each group gets at least two qualified coaches, but it’s much to George’s disgust that the amazing revelation that he’s been coached today by Casey Stoney, ‘top Chelsea and England Ladies defender,’ is met by a blank stare and a shrug.

‘So it’s good?’ I ask. ‘Five-star,’ he replies. ‘Can you book me up again for Christmas?’

www.thedavidbeckhamacademy.com