This, the United Kingdom’s entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, cynically ticks all the ‘right’ boxes – sickly children’s choir, gormless ‘rap’, a rip-off of Martika’s ‘Toy Soldier’ – and so may well be in with a chance. If not, legions of brain-dead goons will sling a copy in their supermarket trolley anyway. Sometimes I worry about this country, I really do.
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