Herne Tavern

The Herne has one of the largest, loveliest and most child-friendly beer gardens in south London, and consequently any mildly clement day will see it packed with local families. Inside, the bar ticks all the 'fantasy pub' boxes: real ale, decent wine list, posh crisps, wood panelling, leather sofas, real fire, discreet TV (big events get shown in the garden barn), loyal regulars, a pub quiz… But the food seems to have been sidelined.

With the exception of the hugely popular Sunday roasts, the menu is dull and the cooking average. Steak and chips, fish and chips, tuna niçoise, chocolate brownie, English cheeses, blah, blah… often served with indifference. It's as if the food is there just to soak up your pint - which is what most visitors seem to use it for.

Staff, a crucial interface between diner and chef, don't appear to have been coached in what they're serving. When we asked one fresh-faced barmaid about the guest ales - in a pub that runs an annual beer festival - she just shrugged and looked blank. Food lovers may prefer to decamp to sister restaurant, the Palmerston; pub-lovers may never want to go home.