Shopping

FAST AND EFFICIENT
Alexander McQueen
(020 7355 0088/www.alexandermcqueen.com)
‘I’m looking for a pair of mens’ silvery-grey shoes (£330), size 11, that I saw in the September edition of GQ.’
Time to pick up Fifteen seconds.
Time holding/transfer One minute while assistant looks for the product.
Helpfulness of staff member Very helpful.
Politeness Very polite with much use of ‘madam’.
Product knowledge Good.
Result He finds the shoes and takes my contact details, then puts them on hold for me for two days.
Customer-service rating 9/10.
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Christian Dior
(020 7172 0172/www.dior.com)
‘I saw a fuchsia, nylon Dior ethnic large hobo (£445) on your website and was wondering where I could buy it.’
Time to pick up Forty-five seconds by a woman in a call centre.
Time holding/transfer Nigh-on seven minutes holding while they look for the product.
Helpfulness of staff member A bit slow to find information.
Politeness Adequate.
Product knowledge She initially doesn’t know the product.
Result She tells me there’s one bag in the Sloane Street shop and asks for my full name, number and address to put it on hold for 24 hours.
Customer-service rating 6/10.

RUDEST
Debenhams
(08445 616 161/www.debenhams.com)
‘I’ve seen a red, embroidered, lace plunge bra and matching knickers from Star by Julien Macdonald (£22) on your site. Do you have it in the Oxford Street store?’
Time to pick up Fifteen seconds, answered by an automated service.
Time holding/transfer Transferred twice in a total of two minutes. I speak at length to two assistants but am on hold for 5.34 minutes in total.
Helpfulness of staff member The first is unhelpful due to her slow and faulty computer but she does make an effort; the second is very unhelpful.
Politeness The first is polite if clearly very stressed, which is unprofessional; the second is downright rude.
Product knowledge Not good.
Result The second assistant informs me sourly there were no bottoms in stock (although the first had said there were) and there’s only one 34C bra, which she holds for me for one week with my name.
Customer-service rating 3/10.

Harrods
(020 7730 1234/www.harrods.com)
‘I’m looking for the Jill Sander metallic silk red dress (£790) I’ve seen in the September edition of Vogue.’
Time to pick up One second, answered by an automated service.
Time holding/transfer Transferred in five seconds, on hold for two-and-a-half minutes while she looks for the product.
Helpfulness of staff member Very helpful.
Politeness Very polite.
Product knowledge She doesn’t know the product I’m asking for.
Result She explains that the store hasn’t yet received all of its autumn/winter stock; she takes my details and says she’ll call back when she knows when it will be in-store.
Customer-service rating 7/10.

WORST OVERALL
House of Fraser
(0870 160 7270/www.houseoffraser.co.uk)
‘I’m looking for a suede-and-plastic clutch bag in bright blue (£39), which I’ve seen in the September edition of Marie Claire.’
Time to pick up One second, answered by a person who gives me the Oxford Street number which I ring and then get an automated service after a few seconds.
Time holding/transfer Transferred twice in a total of 1.47 minutes. Nearly four-and-a-half minutes on hold.
Helpfulness of staff member Speak to three assistants who are all really unhelpful.
Politeness One is brusque, another grumpy, the third polite but shy and quiet, with poor English.
Product knowledge Poor.
Result The third assistant tells me they have sold out, which seems unlikely as it’s a new product. When I ask if she knows whether they’ll be getting any more she tells me to ring back another day. I don’t think I’ll be doing that any time soon, though.
Customer-service rating 2/10.

BETTER BY PHONE!
H&M
(020 7493 4004, Oxford St/www.hm.com)
‘I saw a short-sleeved, grey mini-dress, with jewels around the collar in the window; is it still available in a size ten?’
Time to pick up A few seconds by a polite man.
Time holding/transfer No holding, no transferring.
Helpfulness of staff member Very helpful.
Politeness Extremely polite.
Product knowledge He doesn’t know the product.
Result He takes a description of the dress, along with my contact details (name, number) and promises to call me back. Thirteen minutes later he rings and informs me he’s put it on hold for 24 hours.
Customer service rating 9/10.

John Lewis
(020 7629 7711, Oxford St/www.johnlewis.com)
‘I’m looking for a wool-and-leather bag (£45) I’ve seen in the September edition of Marie Claire.’
Time to pick up One second, answered by an automated service.
Time holding/transfer Transferred twice in a total of ten seconds. Helpfulness of staff member Very helpful.
Politeness Very polite.
Product knowledge She doesn’t know the product I’m asking for.
Result She gives me her name, takes a description of the bag and my details, promising to call me back. Although she does call back after an hour they don’t have any in stock.
Customer service rating 8/10.

Prada
(020 7647 5000/www.prada.com)
‘I saw some beige-and-black, patent-leather, peep-toe sandals with a thick elastic band at the front in the September edition of Vogue (£295), do you have them in-store?’
Time to pick up One minute by a sales assistant.
Time holding/transfer One minute while they looked for the product.
Helpfulness of staff member Very helpful.
Politeness Very polite.
Product knowledge She’s seen the photo in Vogue and knows the product.
Result Although Prada doesn’t have those exact shoes she says there’s a pair very similar which are slightly paler in colour and takes my contact details (name, number) and puts them on hold for me for 24 hours.
Customer-service rating 8/10.

Selfridges
(0800 123 400/www.selfridges.com)
‘I’m looking for the dVb skinny jeans with an embroidered star, stonewash, size 32.’
Time to pick up One second, answered by an automated service.
Time holding/transfer Transferred twice in a total of seven seconds. On hold for two minutes while a staff member looks for the product.
Helpfulness of staff member Quite frosty, a bit put-out and keeps coming back with negative answers.
Politeness Not very.
Product knowledge Quite good.
Result: She finds a black pair with the star in size 31, but they aren’t skinny and agrees to put them on hold for two days with just my name.
Customer-service rating 5/10.

MOST HELPFUL
River Island
(020 8991 4759/www.riverisland.com)
‘I’m looking for a shiny-vinyl black bag with gold coloured metallic features (£44.99) I’ve seen in the September edition of Marie Claire.’
Time to pick up Eleven seconds, answered by a person.
Time holding/transfer No holding, no transferring.
Helpfulness of staff member Very helpful and efficient.
Politeness Very polite and professional.
Product knowledge She immediately recognises the product I’m describing.
Result Although the product won’t be in stores for another week, she gives me the numbers of the central London shops in which it will be be stocked and the product number.
Customer-service rating 9/10.

LONGEST HOLD TIME
Topshop
(0845 121 4519/020 7636 7700/www.topshop.co.uk)
‘I saw a Kate Moss red halterneck with red disks in a size ten (£65) in store, do you still have it?’
Time to pick up One second, answered by a complicated automated service which tries to locate you from your phoneline, but doesn’t really work. I opt to ring the Oxford Street branch directly and get through to another automated service.
Time holding/transfer On hold for a shocking 14 minutes and 38 seconds.
Helpfulness of staff member Grudgingly helpful.
Politeness Her tone is one of annoyance. Grumpy but polite.
Product knowledge She doesn’t know the dress initially.
Result She gives me her name, takes a description of the dress and my details promising to call me back. Eight minutes later she calls to tell me she’s put it on hold for me at the info desk for four days.
Customer-service rating 4/10.