Sport & Fitness

Fixture Iran vs Portugal, June 17, 2pm.
Venue Shehrezade, 346 Kensington High St, W14 (020 7371 1919).
Population (home) 70 million.
Population (London) 100,000.
Stereotype Insular but enthusiastic.
Stereotype (football) Stolid.
Food Kebabs, stews, pastries.
Drink Doogh, Aragh Sagi liqueur.
Trivia Iran is the world’s biggest
producer of pistachios.
Next fixture vs Angola, Wed 21, 3pm. Feature continues

Shehrezade: Bring your own wig

The early signs aren’t promising. Perhaps it’s just the sight of Ian Wright on the telly, but the assembled throng in Shehrezade don’t seem that interested in football. Some are wearing shirts and a few carry flags or have painted faces, but there’s a curious lack of anticipation for Iran’s crucial match against Portugal. Even the team’s official song – a standard-issue house number that’s still better than Embrace – fails to stir the spirits. One young man proves the exception, prowling the wooden floor of the long bar area and tapping it impatiently with a flagpole as he waits for kick-off. He pauses only to predict the score: ‘2-0, 3-0, easy.’

For the rest, this is a social event. Shehrezade is an upmarket bolthole for an affluent Iranian clientele. It’s a place to be seen, and customers sit on stools by the entrance, checking out those who’ve just walked in. The management team is charm itself, greeting all 300 arrivals personally – latecomers are turned away.

Away from the bar, the older patrons are at tables while the youths sit cross-legged on the floor, occasionally launching into slightly amateurish organised chanting (‘What is Iran going to do?’ ‘Rip them apart! Rip them apart!’). It’s genial and muted, and it doesn’t help that the game itself is a shocker; the biggest cheer is prompted by a reference to Iran’s 1998 victory over the US. Half-time brings some excitement: the youngsters sing, dance and flirt, while the adults mingle, until the football interrupts things again.

The atmosphere is rather earthier over the road, where a flatscreen has been set up outside the Reza Pâtisserie (345 Kensington High Street) and a gigantic Iranian flag strewn across the pavement. Rugs have been laid out and sweetcorn is being vigorously barbecued nearby. Cars honk their horns in support, and a crowd gathers in the blazing sunshine to watch Portugal score twice and eliminate Iran. Shehrezade’s patrons don’t seem overly devastated, bar one particular fan who wryly grins: ‘Told you it would be 2-0.’

Gabriel ‘The Jinx’ Tate