Sport & Fitness

Fixture Poland vs Ecuador, June 9, 8pm.
Venue White Eagle Club, 211 Balham High Rd, SW17 (020 8672 1723).
Population (home) 38.6 million.
Population (London) 100,000.
Stereotype Reliable electricians.
Stereotype (football) Solid, unspectacular, always playing England.
Most common surname Nowak.
Food Anything with dill.
Drink Chopin vodka, Zywiec beer.
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Polish fans pack Balham’s White Eagle Club for their team’s opening World Cup match against Ecuador. A refurbished Victorian ballroom crammed with 350 ebullient, boozing and partisan south London-based Poles, the White Eagle is sweatily intoxicating and only mildly threatening. The building is listed, having been purchased for London’s Poles from the government, who had themselves seized it from the Krays when the brothers were imprisoned.

Yet, like Live 8, the communal unity is disrupted by a ticketed Golden Circle for the White Eagle’s most loyal patrons, the privileged few who lead the chants (‘Poland – red and white!’ to the tune of ‘Go West’). This boisterousness once bubbles over into violence, although it doesn’t exactly reach ‘Mad’ Frankie Fraser levels of brutality. One boozed-up meathead chucks a pint glass at the back of another’s head, whereupon two groups of thick-necked Poles decamp outside to settle the dispute. ‘Bad men,’ laments a neighbour, ruefully munching a hot dog. Otherwise, it’s fantastic. The chanting rarely abates, and is totally incomprehensible to outsiders. I suspect the referee is accused of self-abuse on more than one occasion.

Wisely dispensing with ITV, the Polish TV coverage is competent and unglamorous – although Liverpool’s Polish keeper Jerzy Dudek tries to inject some pizzazz with a vomitous lime-green shirt that even Liberace might have rejected as a little outré. Not that the game offers much to get excited about. The Poles lose 2-0 despite a late rally that whips the White Eagle Club into something approaching hysteria. The room empties quickly at the close, but they’ll be back for the next game, against Poland’s main rivals, Germany.

Where to watch…
Sweden (vs Paraguay, June 15)
The Harcourt Arms, 32 Harcourt St, W1 (020 7723 6634) Edgware Rd tube.
Drink Kopparberg cider.
Why? Overspill watches match in
nearby Swedish church.

England (vs Trinidad & Tobago, June 15)
Rob Roy, 8/9 Sale Place, W2
(020 7262 6403) Paddington tube/rail.
Drink Deuchars bitter.
Why? This Scottish pub is the only public place in London to safely boo England.

Holland (vs Ivory Coast, June 16)
De Hems, 11 Macclesfield St, W1
(020 7437 2494) Leicester Square tube.
Drink Oranjeboom.
Why? It’s the orangest place on earth.

Portugal (vs Iran, June 17)
Vasco da Gama, 152 Lambeth Rd, SW8 (020 7735 3417) Vauxhall tube/rail.
Drink Sagres.
Why? You might share tapas with Jose Mourinho.