Sport & Fitness

Looking forward to the new season? Me neither. After a summer of insane over-expectation and criminal underachievement in Germany, domestic football has returned indecently quickly. Here we are, in the midst of an intriguing Test series against Pakistan, Glorious Goodwood and European athletics, and we’re meant to be excited about whether Steed’s staying, Jobi’s going and José’s latest bout of impulse buying.

The plethora of back-page features entitled ‘Football’s back!’ seem to ignore two crucial facts: one, it never went away, as Steven Gerrard will wearily testify; and two, not everyone is so keen to see its avaricious, pumped-up face again. Feature continues

The usual hypemeisters, Sky, can’t be blamed this time. After all, they were forced to pretend that the World Cup wasn’t happening and that the most important players of the last few months were the bandy-legged ex-pros reliving past glories in the Masters tournaments. At least there’s two weeks’ grace before the Premiership overkill kicks in – long enough for England’s ‘stars’ to hang their heads in shame/do it all for the new gaffer (delete according to degree of cynicism) in an international against Greece on August 16, and for the FA’s blazer brigade to discover that Steve McLaren really was not such a good idea after all.

One of the few genuinely positive stories of the last year was Watford’s ascent to the Premiership, led by a bright young English manager. With a prestige friendly against Inter Milan this week, Adrian Boothroyd can enjoy his last few gulps of air before doing a David Blaine and spending the next nine months beneath the surface. Most pundits expect his team to drown, and return to a division in which the capital’s presence was halved back in May.

Crystal Palace kick off their Coca-Cola Championship campaign trying to forget the unseemly aftermath of Iain Dowie’s move across south London to take charge of Charlton Athletic. Since his replacement Peter Taylor has already masterminded a 2-1 win against Boavista, who finished sixth in Portugal’s Superliga, what’s to fear from Southend United? Queens Park Rangers also have a new man in permanent charge, though Gary Waddock is facing harsh realities in W12. Last week, Antonio Caliendo, chairman of QPR Holdings Ltd, was forced to issue a statement, following the resignation of non-executive director Carlos Dunga, confirming that the main aim of the board is to get the club on a sound financial footing – and that Dan Shittu can talk to anyone tabling a £3 million bid.It’s all change in the dugout in League 1, too. Nigel Spackman has taken over at Millwall following a catastrophic relegation campaign. The Lions are now on their sixth manager since the high point of reaching the 2004 FA Cup final – but raising £6m through a share issue should help to bring much-needed stability. Over at Brentford, Martin Allen took the Bees to consecutive play-offs but failed to lift his team into the Championship, and then jumped ship to MK Dons. Along with Ian Holloway at QPR, the capital has now lost two of the most quotable managers outside the Premiership. Replacement Leroy Rosenior will hope his players allow him to keep his mouth shut.

Indeed, only two of London’s lower-division coaches have survived the summer. Martin Ling led Leyton Orient to their first promotion since 1989 but faces starting the campaign without captain and centre-back John Mackie following incidents in drug testing after the O’s clinched third place in League 2 on the last day of the season. Not that Mackie was taking anything dodgy; deprived of the chance to celebrate with his team-mates, he admitted to abusive and threatening behaviour towards an official and copped a four-match ban and £500 fine.

Barnet, meanwhile, were involved at the other end of the table on that drama-drenched day, when any of seven clubs could have plunged into the Conference. However, Paul Fairclough’s side won 2-1 at Rushden & Diamonds to secure their League 2 status – and another year of intransigence with an unsupportive local authority as the club tries to move away from antiquated Underhill.
As the tedious round of top-flight transfer tittle-tattle overshadows the start of the Coca-Cola Championship and League season, it’s becoming ever harder to remember that Barnet are just three rungs lower on the footballing ladder. It’s also becoming ever harder to believe that the Premiership supremos even care.