Sport & Fitness

‘Testosterone? Does that have implications for the sex drive?’

‘Oh yes, people have definitely noticed an increase in their sex drive.’

Sessions cost £30 and the London Kriotherapy Centre recommends a course of ten two-minute sessions taken over a fortnight for maximum benefit, though positive effects can be felt after the first time. All freezing chamber clothing is provided and you can request a women- or men-only session. Most people can sample the therapy, but the website has details of those (such as diabetics and pregnant women) who should avoid it.
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I get in the first chamber. It’s only -60°C in here and Peter and I huff and puff while physiotherapist Irvind, who has joined us in several jumpers, shows us how the door works in case we can’t take it.

Twenty seconds at -60°C is comparatively easy. It is cold, but you are so worried about going down to -110°C that you don’t think about the fact that if you stay there for over ten minutes, you will freeze to death. Irvind points to the second set of doors.

‘Ready?’

I shout no, Peter shouts yes. We go in.

The first thing I notice is the quiet. All sound seems deadened by the extreme cold. Then I notice the area between my left testicle and my inner thigh. There must be some rogue moisture down there as that area doesn’t usually snap, crackle or pop.

I start to jog up and down. Irvind claps his approval and encourages us to tramp around in a circle and wave our hands in the air. It really is cold, but much colder around my ankles – looking down I can see clouds of sub-zero steam forming. I can’t see so well now. Is the moisture in my eyeballs burning up? Am I going blind? Irvind reaches over and pulls my headband back from where it has slid down over my eyes.

Then something starts to change. It is barely perceptible at first, but it is getting stronger all the time. I hadn’t thought about how miserable I was before I went through the door, but suddenly, trapped in a small room with a man with a skin condition and wearing white clogs, I cheer up for the first time in months. As Irvind pulls us out after two minutes, I smile openly.

Outside it seems both ridiculously warm and ridiculous. Peter and I turn round and look at each other, two men naked apart from ear warmers and two sets of pants. We start to laugh.

Five hours later I have stopped laughing, but am still remarkably jolly. The literature doesn’t mention it, but a few riojas just after kriotherapy can raise the ‘feelgood’ indicators of a moderately overweight Englishman to previously unknown levels. And you don’t get a hangover.

Pass the clogs Renata; I’m going back in.

The London Kriotherapy Centre Battersea Studio, 80 Silverthorne Rd, SW8 (020 7627 1402/www.kriotherapy.com).