London

Cutting-edge cut-price clubs

If you’re thinking that you’d better make the most of cheesy Freshers’ Week nights, where beer bellies jiggle in time to the Baywatch theme tune, because a pint is only £1.50, then think again. Didn’t you come to London to escape the perpetual cringe-a-thons in the student union?

Fabric (image © Tom Stapley)

Instead, get navigating your way around the gaudy metropolis via some choicer nightspots. Multi-roomed dance Meccas like Fabric and Turnmills attract the keenest of newbie clubbers with their all-star line-ups. But at £12 a pop (and that’s with an NUS card!) you’ll be living on tinned tomatoes on toast to afford more than the entry each week. More and more club nights nowadays, especially in the West End, may offer free entry before a certain time to lure students in, but often the drinks prices more than make up for the few quid spared on the door. Instead head to Shoreditch for a myriad of nights that keep clubbing cutting-edge without strangling your purse strings.
Fabric, 77a Charterhouse Street, EC1M 3HN (020 7336 8898/www.fabriclondon.com). Turnmills, 63 Clerkenwell Road, EC1M 5NP (020 7250 3409/www.turnmills.co.uk).

First stop is the T Bar for world famous DJs on the Funktion One soundsystem. Lasermagnetic launch their new monthly residency here on September 20 with their cosmic breed of electro disco, and established nights Ditched Disco (Fridays) and Dig Your Own Rave (Sundays) still cause roadblocks every week. They are also hosting the first in the free series of ‘San Miguel: Hidden Depths’ events: on September 26 DJ Yoda performs his ingeniously kitsch DVD-scratch set alongside pals Sinden, Eclectic Method, Dixie, Mr Wrec, The Nextmen and Dan Greenpeace, with an interactive touch wall making an impression, too. The following two weeks see Warp Films (the camp behind ‘This Is England’) take over Punk in Soho with talks and screenings, and Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly and friends curate the live music at Industry back in the ’ditch. To win tickets visit www.hiddendepths.tv sharpish!
T Bar, 56 Shoreditch High St, E1 6JJ (020 7729 2973/www.tbarlondon.com). Punk, 14 Soho Street, W1D 3DN (020 7734 4004. Industry, 1 Curtain Road, EC2A 3JX (020 7422 0958/www.industrybar.com).

Foreign at Bar Music Hall (© Billa)

Bar Music Hall is where the gender bending fashionistas flock for nights like Foreign on Saturday, where flamboyant hosts and DJs Scottee and Jodie Harsh whip up a fluoro-splashed, polysexual storm. It’s the friendlier, messier alternative to BoomBox at Hoxton Bar and Kitchen on Sundays, where you’ll have a task getting past the door whore if your ‘look’ isn’t up to DIY scratch. Other nights of note at Bar Music Hall are Film Noir (September 21) – an ‘electro-disko for femme fatales, underworld heroes & fallen angels’ – and Slipped Disco, a discerning electronic night run by Ben Osbourne, which feeds into an after party at the Mother Bar around the corner. All are free entry if your hair is triangular enough. Gay girls and boys and their mates will also love Nag Nag Nag at the Ghetto in Soho with cheap vodka mixers and ace electro rockin’ live bands (Dead Kids on September 19) for £4 NUS. Or for somewhere to wind down for free, make for Kamikaze Karaoke every Sunday at central London’s other gay budget spot Trash Palace. Play Russian roulette with the tracks, but beware – there’s a chance you’ll get Meatloaf on the screen, not Mika! Vodka sushi shots at £1.50 will help eradicate any embarrassment.
Bar Music Hall, 134-146 Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AR (020 7613 5951/www.hellshoreditch.com). Hoxton Bar and Kitchen, 2-4 Hoxton Square, N1 6NU (020 7419 4696). Mother Bar, 333 Old Street, EC1V 9LE (020 7739 5949/www.333mother.com). Ghetto, 5-6 Falconberg Court, W1D 3AB (020 7287 3726/www.ghetto-london.co.uk). Trash Palace, 11 Wardour St, W1D 6PG (020 7734 0522/www.trashpalace.co.uk).

Trailer Trash

Back in Shoreditch, stroll up to Catch, where there’s a diverse range of freebies. Get Rude, run by New Era-cap toting nippers Zombie Disco Squad, drops a dose of Baltimore club, electro and baile funk every second Saturday of the month, while every fourth Saturday is Meat Raffle, with its vodka-lubed mix of live acts and DJs creating a leftfield dance soundtrack. For those feeling flashy, £5 nets you the cream of the über-cool DJ crop at either Ditch Bar, where Aussie indie electro label Modular takes over every week (it’s the unmissable Count of Monte Cristal, aka DJ Herve and Sinden, on September 21!), or On the Rocks for its booty bassy outing Trailer Trash with scorching top jock Hannah Holland, every Friday.
Catch, 22 Kingsland Road, E2 8DA (020 7729 6097/www.thecatchbar.com). Ditch, 145 Shoreditch High Street, E1 6JE (07946 706 837). On the Rocks, 25 Kingsland Road, E2 8AA.

Rock'n'save

If you fancy an evening of live music with no frills and less hangover warnings turn up early for hip music rag Artrocker’s Tuesday night at Islington’s Buffalo Bar. They showcase garage, art and dance rock acts before they become two-minute sell outs on Ticketmaster; it’s free to members (sign up via membership@artrocker.com) or £5 to everyone else. Bloody Awful Poetry at The Enterprise in NW3 on September 21 offers a similarly value deal: five bands for just £4 with our Night Pass (available in Time Out London magazine), and the Windmill in Brixton boasts the best value gigs down south. See the feisty Fight Like Apes, who have been all over John Kennedy’s XFM Xposure show, there on September 20 for only £3 if you print this article out.
Buffalo Bar, 259 Upper St, N1 1RU (www.buffalobar.co.uk). The Enterprise, 2 Haverstock Hill, Camden, NW3 2BL (020 7485 2659). Brixton Windmill, 122 Blenheim Gardens, Brixton Hill, SW2 5BZ (020 8671 0700/www.windmillbrixton.co.uk).

Old Blue Last (image © Dom Tunon)

Northbound, it’s Nambucca on Holloway Road that attracts the grubbiest unsigned bands and rickety soundsystems to their dingy yet brilliant surroundings. If you can’t bear to leave the east, however, the Old Blue Last pub is where all the scenester sweatdowns take place (an unsigned Klaxons once played there!) for next to nothing. Underground, caustic rock promoters Upset the Rhythm and rocking ‘n’ raving club night Adventures Close to Home are ones to watch out for if you want something more boundary-bashing than the average pub indie bands you get in the Dublin Castle. 7 Year Glitch DJ around live bands Ida Maria and The Sticks on September 20, Motel Nights’ club night has the Computer Blue DJs on the decks spinning wacky electro after bands Ungdomskule and Dead Pixels the next night, while the forward-thinking label 1234 Records take over on September 27 with Out, Trafalgar, Peter Glam, Arcadia Party Program and Noise For The Passive live, plus DJ Sonic McLusky. All are a grand total of… free!
Nambucca, 596 Holloway Road, N7 6LB (020 7272 7366/www.myspace.com/nambucca). Old Blue Last, 38 Great Eastern St, EC2A 3ES (020 7739 7033/www.theoldbluelast.com).

Or skip the late nights altogether and relax at a free afternoon gig, either at cool hotspot Notting Hill Arts Club (Rota is on Saturdays) or posh boozer the Lock Tavern in Chalk Farm (Sundays are great here), where the acoustic acts range include Ali Love and Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit.
Notting Hill Arts Club, 21 Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459/ www.nottinghillartsclub.com). Lock Tavern, 35 Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8AJ (020 7482 7163/www.lock-tavern.co.uk).

Fringe fever

And what of theatre-going with a maxed-out overdraft? Plays are great for an alternative to getting sloshed, and an excuse to dress up posh like, but everyone thinks decent shows are going to be really expensive. And yes, if you want to be strung up by the wallet and bled dry for the privilege of seeing Ben Elton’s futuristic musical tribute to his favourite rock band, aka ‘We Will Rock You’, then you’d better not be counting on any change from that £50 note. But step away from the West End, and you’ll find a surprisingly large amount of London’s best theatre is available on the cheap.

'Saint Joan' at the National Theatre

Grab a £10 Travelex ticket for some of the best ensemble playing and most interesting directors at work in the UK, including 'Emperor Jones' (opens mid-September) and ‘Saint Joan’ (ends September 25) at The National Theatre, or get there early and pay £10 for leftover seats. The National is definitely the one to take your mum to, but the Royal Court, with its record for showcasing talented young writers and actors, is probably the coolest discount in town: catch Dominic Cooke’s eagerly awaited production of 'Rhinoceros' for a tenner on ‘cheap Mondays’, or bag one of 500 £5 tickets for under-25s at every Downstairs performance. And if you’re prepared to stand in the slips you can get in to headline shows for as little as a penny.
The National Theatre, Southbank, SE1 9PX (020 7452 3000/www.nationaltheatre.org.uk). Royal Court Theatre, Sloane Square, SW1W 8AS (020 7565 5000/www.royalcourttheatre.com).

Scratch nights, where you pay cut-price to see a show that’s in development (and even get to tell the cast and director what you thought in the bar afterwards) are getting more popular too: Battersea Arts Centre (a bastion of youthful talent) has done them for years; so does the Gate Theatre in Notting Hill; and so, these days, does the Royal Court. Off-West End you can get quality theatre at knock-down prices: the Bush (in Shepherd’s Bush) and the Lyric Hammersmith give their West End rivals more than a run for their money; in many cases they exceed them in quality. And the Young Vic has had a storming season since its refurbishment last year: see ‘Fragments’ there with their £10 under-26 tickets. Dalston’s celebrated Arcola Theatre has Pay What You Can Nights, where you can see quality shows for whatever is in your purse. Buy tickets from the box office at 7pm, but arrive early as these nights are very popular.
Battersea Arts Centre, Lavender Hill, SW11 5TN (020 7223 6557/www.bac.org.uk). The Gate Theatre, 11 Pembridge Road, W11 3HQ (020 7229 0706/www.gatetheatre.co.uk). The Bush Theatre, Shepherds Bush Green, W12 8QD (020 7610 4224/www.bushtheatre.co.uk). Lyric Hammersmith, King Street, W6 0QL (0870 050 0511/www.lyric.co.uk). The Young Vic, 66 The Cut, SE1 8LZ (020 7922 2922/www.youngvic.org). The Arcola Theatre, 27 Arcola Street, E8 2DJ (020 7503 1646/www.arcolatheatre.com).

Bistrotheque

If you want to take pot luck then head for the London fringe: chances are, wherever your digs are there’s a fringe theatre near by – expect dodgy blackouts, gratuitous bare buttocks, warm beer – but also some of the most unexpectedly brilliant shows around at the moment. If off-kilter (glitter, transvestites, you name it) performance art is your bag, Bistrotheque, E2, is the place to be seen at. For the most exciting performers like Ryan Styles, Scottee and Pay & Display trying out new material here first, catch their second UnderConstruction season for only £5 a night. Or for much less groomed performances, the Rhythm Factory in Whitechapel hosts a monthly open mic night, Spoonful of Poison, which welcomes comedians, slam poets, musicians and performers to try their luck on the stage. Anime buffs may want to don their favourite manga outfits and get down to the British Museum for a free screening of ‘Ghost in the Shell’ on September 28 at 6.30pm in the BP Lecture Theatre. Pre-book via 020 7323 8181 or boxoffice@thebritishmuseum.ac.uk. The second instalment on September 29 is at 4.30pm for £2 NUS.
Bistrotheque, 23-27 Wadeson Street, E2 9DR (020 8983 7900/www.bistrotheque.com). Rhythm Factory, 16-18 Whitechapel Rd,
E1 1EW (020 7375 3774/www.rhythmfactory.co.uk). British Museum, Great Russell Street, WC1B 3DG (020 7323 8181/www.thebritishmuseum.ac.uk).

Swap-a-rama Razzmatazz

Bargain bin brainwaves

Despite London’s tasty spread of shops it can often be hard to find the time and spare cash to brave ‘pits of hell’ Topshop or Primark on Oxford Street. But if you fancy shopping while slurping a Cuba Libre, go to Swap-a-rama Razzmatazz (£3 entry) at super-relaxed restaurant-cum-bar-cum-club Favela Chic, where you can dance, drink and meet new people as you swap your unwanted clothes with them when the air horn sounds. Don’t wear anything you don’t mind swapping for a Hawaiian print bucket hat, however! Chortling on the cheap is possible in the city too; it’s just a case of finding the bargain laughter spots. For a £1 introduction to the cut-throat world of comedy, hit up the Red Lion in SW1 on Monday nights. The Electric Mouse shows in this tiny basement are famous for the Westminster peeps who are regulars, but for a less politico-studded affair the Mouse crew also holds events in Brixton and Carnaby Street. For an unforgettable quiz night (yes, they can be cool, people) The Wheatsheaf in W1 has the answer, or rather, you have to guess them, as comedians lead you through rounds like ‘Whose face is this?’ A hilarious night out where you can win cash prizes for only £3 entry (or a tenner for teams of four).
Favela Chic, 91-93 Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 5228/www.favelachic.com). Red Lion, 48 Parliament Street, SW1A 2NH (020 79305826). The Wheatsheaf, 25 Rathbone Place, W1T 1DG (020 7580 1585).

So there you have it. You may be navigating the ‘free’ bendy buses and shopping in Iceland, but never again will you utter the words ‘I can’t afford to go out tonight.’