Furries

Hot fursuit! Comedian Mark Allen makes like David Bellamy and takes a look at the petting predelictions of furries

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    Fetishists come in different shapes and sizes. Occasionally, different species – something I found out when researching my latest comedy show, ‘Pet Project’. The show itself started as an innocent exploration of mankind’s obsession with animals, but then I stumbled across the fascinating world of the furries.

    Furries feel a special affinity with animals. Some go as far as dressing up in costumes, called fursuits, and hanging out with others of a similar bent. For many participants it is an innocent pastime with no sexual element, but for others the pull of the pet shop is far stronger and they go on to become furverts.

    The aim of the furvert is to ‘yiff’. The word is inspired by the sound made by mating foxes and involves two people dressed up in fursuits having sex – heavy petting indeed. My knowledge of yiffing is not first hand and has only been gleaned from reading forums and looking at some disturbing images. Although I like to be scrupulous in my research, I tend to draw the line at being shunted by a squirrel just for the sake of journalistic integrity.

    However, what I can tell you is that to partake in yiffing you will need to buy a modified fursuit. These are different to the types of costume you’ll see at Disneyland. I’m guessing that you’ve never seen Mickey Mouse with a hole in his rear and his penis protruding from a sheath in front of him, as I’m fairly sure that’s not acceptable even in the Paris branch. Once two consenting furverts get together and are suited up, one of them will bend over revealing the hole in the rear of their suit. The mating display really is no subtler than that. Upon seeing this, the other furvert will grab on, slide in and presumably just go at it like a rabbit. Or a vole.

    Although furverts represent only a small minority of the furry community, they’re clearly the most intriguing element – not only because their desires are so unusual, but also because their behaviour raises a number of practical issues. Doesn’t it get uncomfortably hot inside a fursuit? Can they actually see what they’re doing? And how the hell does that work logistically?

    Although you might question the furverts’ methods, you surely can’t question their commitment. For starters, it must be a nightmare removing otter spooge out of synthetic fur – at the very least you’ll have some explaining to do when you take your costume to be dry-cleaned. And can you imagine how hard it is to come out as a furry? Coming out as gay is difficult enough, but at least people have a frame of reference without having to enquire into the specifics. How do you break it to your parents that you’re a furry? ‘Mum! Dad! I like stoats.’
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