Suburban test

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City slicker or 'burb dweller – which are you?

  • Suburbia.jpg Parking meter.jpg
    Pleasant grassy verges ...or parking meters

    1 When you tell people where you live, do they…

    a) Say they’ve been drinking there. b) Say they’ve heard of it. c) Look at you as if you said ‘Narnia’.

    2 The latest you can leave an after-work drinking session is…

    a) 4am.b) 10pm.c) 6.37pm exactly.

    On Sundays, you’re most likely to be found…

    a) Tagging a railway arch. b) Catching up on washing. c) Creosoting a shed.

    4 Your neighbour is a nuisance because he has…

    a) Hostages. b) An ASBO. c) Your ladder.

    5 Your local theatre is currently showing…

    a) An interpretation of Ionesco’s tragi-farce ‘Rhinocéros’. Set to techno. b) ‘Thérèse Raquin’, a bold amateur dramatisation of Zola’s novel. c) ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ (featuring Bernie Nolan and the Crazy Frog).

    6 Your local streets are lined with…

    a) Parking meters.b) Plane trees.c) Pleasant grassy verges.

    7 For you, gardening entails…

    a) Who needs a garden when you’ve got Hyde Park? b) Watering a sick-looking basil plant in your window box.c) Half an hour on your tractor-mower.

    8 In the last year you’ve bought a Zone 2-6 travelcard…

    a) Never. b) Less than ten times. c) Every single working day.

    9 The TV show you most relate to is…

    a) ‘This Life’ b) ‘That’s Life!’c) ‘The Good Life’

    How do you measure up?

    Mostly a… You’re über-urban. Addicted to inner-city life, you live in the centre, with all the mayhem that entails. Mostly b… You’re semi-urban. Close enough to commute, but not right in the thick of things. Mostly c…You are Richard Briers.

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