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  • Dulwich

    Village hall

    Along with the adjacent Audi showroom, St Barnabas Parish Hall marks the start of the village proper. It mainly organises children’s events and Pilates classes. 8/10

    Cricket pitch

    Dulwich Cricket Club plays in an idyllic setting just off Burbage Road in the village. 7/10

    Village green

    The haughty, dominant Dulwich Park is nearby, but doesn’t really count as a green because a) it’s massive, b) it’s gated and c) it’s actually not very green at the moment because it’s being resurfaced. 3/10

    Local pub

    The massive Crown & Greyhound (73 Dulwich Village, SE21, 020 8299 4976) hosts Pilates classes when the village hall is closed, plus the poetry and wine societies, and film nights. 8/10

    Post office

    A sweet sub-post office right in the middle of the village, next to the ‘organically minded grocer’. 9/10

    Church

    Wedged next to the Dulwich Picture Gallery is the dinky Christ’s Chapel, a seventeenth-century edifice. It’s not the village’s main place of worship, but it’s the nicest. 6/10

    Local bobby

    Sergeant Stephen Farrant is the community bobby, working out of nearby Lordship Lane police station, which is where most of the action is (ie not that near Dulwich Village). 5/10

    Annual fête

    Rather more than a village fête, the Dulwich Festival takes place in May and ‘showcases local artistic talent as well as Dulwich’s buildings, history and wonderful open spaces’. No coconut shy, then. 3/10

    Village Idiot

    Ron Liddle lives in Dulwich and uses his piss-poor column in the Sunday Times to write about his 'smug' and 'complacent' neighbours; but's not an idiot, he's a twat. 6/10

    Village people

    The number of excellent local independent schools suggests this is not a place for your typical south Londoner. Put it this way: there aren’t many Millwall fans around (other than Liddle). 2/10


    Local's verdict

    ‘It’s not a village really, it’s just a posh suburb. There is a sort of community, but it can get very snobby.’ Sammy Kenton, Dulwich resident
    Total 56/100

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