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Weird inventions for parents, vol. 1

The editors here at Time Out Kids have just been alerted to a number of wacky new products and services, and we wanted to let you in on the little gigglefest they caused. Moms and dads, we present the first installment of Weird Inventions for Parents! picture-111. MyGeneImage: These are works of art that display your baby's DNA sequence. This is how the process works: Parents receive a collection package which they use to swab the inside of their baby's cheek to collect a DNA sample from the buccal cells. Then the folks at MyGeneImage lab create custom genetic art based on the sample. Framing your kid's biological imprint will cost you, of course: A single oeuvre can run upward of $500! 2. Pk24: Are you ready for this one, parents? It's a doozy! Pk24 is a "clinically tested 24-hour vaginal tightening cream answering women's desires to regain their sexuality and turn the clock back on their love life." We're surprised they didn't throw in the phrase "miracle worker" while they were at it. We realize that after having a child, vaginal tightness can be an issue. But, like baldness, is it really curable by a cream? Update: A number of our readers apparently swear by the product. See the comments below. Maybe we should request a sample... 3. Fetal Educator Strap: The details of this product are a little ambiguous (maybe the creators don't know what the thing is supposed to do themselves), but here's the general idea: You strap this band around your pregnant tummy and play the embedded tape to your unborn child, which supposedly will make Junior emerge from your womb smarter than his peers. Who wants to wear, essentially, a cassette player circa 1984 Velcroed to her stomach for nine months? Heard of any other wacky inventions lately? We want to hear about them!

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