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Last night, I asked the guy I’ve been seeing if he remembered my outfit from our first date, which was about six weeks ago. “I don’t really know,” he replied. “I remember I could see your legs. And they looked hot.”
Sigh. They say that straight women dress for other women—that is, except when they’re dressing for first dates. In that case, they’re most definitely dressing for men. Seriously, lots of us spend hours considering the options: Is a dress too fancy? Are heels too fussy? If I show my tits will he think I’m a slut? Unfortunately, we tend to forget that men, uh, aren’t women.
So what do men want women to wear on a first-date? Denim.
“Dates are supposed to be fun,” says Ricky Van Veen, 26, editor-in-chief of College Humor. “If a girl shows up in jeans, I know she’s down for some mild adventuring.”
Pretty much every Y-chrome I talked with echoed Van Veen. Dating coach Matt Titus, 40, prefers “a simple pair of jeans and a nice shirt. If she shows up with too much makeup, a big, poofy dress, I think she must have spent all day getting ready. It’s too much pressure.”
For New York Times best-selling author Steve Santagati, 43, his first date fantasy is “jeans, a ponytail and a cute T-shirt with no bra.” Perv.
So, what do they not want?
“Capri pants,” says Van Veen. “Seriously. We’re not pirates.”
“Girls do two things wrong,” Santagati says. “One: look like they’re trying too hard—then I know those clothes will come off as easy as they went on. Or two: Dress like an 80-year-old librarian. Lest a woman forgets: Men don’t care about labels like they do about sexy.”
Basically, I think it’s valuable to amend Judge Judy’s catchphrase KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid), when dealing with men and fashion. It should be “Keep it Simple, Sexy.” I know, corny. But it works.
“She needs to wear something sexy but not showy,” says gay boy-about-town Kristian LaLiberte, 24. “Not Quaker, but not Las Vegas hooker either. Once I saw a girl at the downtown Ciprani’s show up on a blind date wearing Paris Blues, Steve Madden wanna-be Louboutins, an Ed Hardy trucker hat with a matching Ed Hardy bedazzled tank top,” he says. “I almost puked in my arugula.”
Dr. Bobby Buka, 33, recalls the time a date of his showed up wearing “a black tutu with black tights.” “WTF?! I sat us in the furthest, darkest corner. Very Glenda, the Fashion-Challenged Witch.”
Uh-oh: I think that sounds cute!
E-mail her at julia@timeoutny.com.
Joe
Wed, Oct 24, 07, at 6:05pm
A woman should always wear a skirt an d heels. That looks hot!
Deb
Sun, Sep 30, 07, at 12:57pm
I just went on a first date to a restaurant for dessert, and wore a simple black dress and cute ballet flats. I wanted to look nicer than just jeans and a top, and women can always do the LBD if they want to impress without going crazy with froufrou. I don't add anything other than a very simple wrist bag and earrings. Jeans certainly have their place for casual/cute and I do agree that guys will probably feel more relaxed on the date when she dresses down. I am over 40, so I like to dress up a bit at times, without going nuts. You could always try the casual dress or tunic over jeans with ballet flats look - which is very cute and stylish while still being casual. Ladies may also wear simple black pants, maybe in a soft fabric like velveteen or rayon -something tactile, (guys love that) with a fun top in a color that lights up your face. Blue is friendly and non-threatening, as is perhaps any pastel or coral/orange/pinks/lavender/plum.
It depends upon your own coloring, and what goes with your hair and eyes too. I love red, but I avoid it on a first date, as it's sexy yet can be seen as intimidating too, so save it for the thrid date maybe, when you want to get really sexed up!
mike
Sun, Sep 30, 07, at 10:07am
http :// nosexinnyc . blogspot . com/
