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Published on 5/16/08
Published on 5/15/08
Video
What do you do when you’re ready to fuck but the walk from bar to bed is just too long? You get down in the baseball diamond at McCarren Park at 2am. My boyfriend and I dropped into the dust, low to the ground but hardly hidden in the field’s floodlights, the swirling soil adding to the downright dirtiness. As I hiked up my skirt, I felt the guilty-sexy thrill of being exposed to the world, my body throbbing with the doubled excitement of sex and susceptibility. But as he slid into me, I became panicky, scanning the scene wildly. I eyed a hipster walking along the dark perimeter of the park about 12 yards away—I doubt he spotted us, but my pulse still skyrocketed. I squeaked, “Someone’s coming,” which spurred my bemused partner on; within seconds, we were both coming. The sex lasted less than three minutes but it felt like the longest—and certainly the most intense—of my life.
Although my sexploit seemed impromptu, it actually required planning: I dressed for the occasion (a skirt served as a sheath; going commando expedited entrance), and I had a condom on me (’cause no level of sexual gratification is worth catchin’ the preg). I also selected a low-key location: The NYPD made 556 arrests in 2006 for public lewdness, the bulk of which occurred on the subway. (The misdemeanor includes indecent exposure, so flashers make up the majority of such arrests. The penalty includes a $500 fine and three months in jail, but is under proposal to be doubled.)
Stats aside, getting caught is rare since public sex is so speedy. “Guys climax faster,” says Janie, 25, a self-proclaimed exhibitionist who has had sidewalk sex in every borough. “It’s the heightened excitement of potentially getting caught—without the expectation of holding back.”
Jamie says:
Don’t be like Larry Craig and pick a hideous place (like Minnesota) to go at it. If you’re going to get arrested, do it in style: the observation deck of the Empire State Building, the Roosevelt Island tram or a Central Park horse carriage (the delicious depravity will cancel out the cheesiness). Also: For hetero couples, the seated-woman-straddling-the-guy position is a good way to disguise public sex.
*Writer’s name has been changed to protect them from their mother.
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