Photograph: Dave Sanders

On Valentine's Day, I canceled my OkCupid date (sorry, fr33zyfr33ky) to hang out at dance club Columbus 72 with the Amazing Kreskin, the 73-year-old mentalist and self-made millionaire who you've undoubtedly seen on late-night TV. Kreskin has been making prophecies for more than 50 years. He predicted both the 9/11 tragedy and the Giants winning Super Bowl XLII by three points. Basically, he's crazy psychic. And what more could you want in a wingman?

Just before we hit the bar, Kreskin whispered something: “Are you thinking of someone with the letter r?” I sighed heavily and nodded. “Who is he?” Kreskin asked, taking out a piece of paper. “I'm thinking of my ex-boyfriend,” I said.

“I know you're thinking of an r, but I have the letters n, a, t on my paper,” he replied, sharing his scribbled notes. My eyes widened. His name is Nathan Robert.

“He wasn't the one for you,” TAK assured me.

Once inside, I pointed out a dark-haired cutie. “For your purposes, I wouldn't trust him, he's cautiously aloof,” coached the mentalist. “Ask him if he knows a man named Johnny. And if you see me touching my ear, that means to end the conversation immediately.“

The cutie, Ben, 25, was boring and seemed uninterested. We chatted until Kreskin gave me the signal—which was a relief, because I was tired of keeping the conversation going. “It wasn’t that Ben wasn’t interested,” said Kreskin. “He’s just not comfortable building relationships. I bet an hour from now, he’ll still be standing by himself.”

The follow-up: Kreskin turned out to be correct about the hipster’s shady vibe, but Ben didn’t know any Johnnys—nor was he flying solo when I saw him an hour later.

With my wingman's blessing, I moved on to Jake, 32, a doctor with big brown eyes who'd recently moved to New York City. At Kreskin's suggestion, I asked Jake his favorite time of the day. “Around 7am is when I feel most relaxed,” he revealed. When I returned to Kreskin (who had been scouting in a different room), he held out his watch to me: It read 7am. Awesome.

“Always ask suitors about their favorite hour of the day. It's not intrusive and can reveal a lot about a person,” said Kreskin. “Jake is very interested in you, and he's a good guy. You're not going to do better tonight.”

The follow-up: “I am very interested in you and I'd see you again,” Jake told me when I relayed Kreskin's prediction. I blushed and thanked him for his honesty. And did I find a better man on V-Day? Keep reading, yo.

Next I struck up a conversation with John, 51, a Queens native with bulging biceps and an unfortunate resemblance to Popeye. He seemed overly into me, and I wasn't going to be his Lolita, so I made an exit to the bathroom.

“He was eyeing you for 25 minutes before you approached him,” said Kreskin. “Also, I found him interesting: I think he's had a lot more experiences than you realize.”

The follow-up: “I didn’t actually notice you before you approached me,” confessed John. “However, I have had some crazy experiences. One day I had the SWAT team at my door, but that’s another story that involves Christopher Walken’s brother Glenn, a sawed-off shotgun and roast-beef sandwiches.” TMI, buddy!

We can’t all have Kreskin at our sides as we navigate the mysterious world of flirtation, so how can we sharpen our mentalist skills at home? “Everyone needs to learn how to stop the world and reflect on who they met and what kind of vibes they received,” Kreskin says. “New York City is a maddening scene, and you sometimes need to step away, even if it’s into a bathroom for ten minutes.”

Thanks, Kreskin. Now let’s hope Jake reads my mind (or this article) and calls me!