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Mei-yann, 29, hotel-industry professional/actor
My responses were tragic: three men and a baby! I hate to tell you, but your readers can’t read: I’m a lesbian! Maybe they thought the pink female next to my head meant, “Yes, I really am a girl—as opposed to a post-op trannie.” Then again, maybe I just hit on some femme/dom strap-on fetish jackpot. So the winner is… the baby girl! She’s cool. And Lord knows when I was 20, I was dating older people. Will I write the three guys back? Hells no. If I decide I want dick in ’08, it’s not gonna be with them! (tonysingles.meiyann@gmail.com)
Kelly Lynn, 22, freelance photographer
I’ve gotten 40 e-mails. One opened with, “Hey Kelly, first of all, my intention isn’t to fuck with you.” Verbatim. Another touted the fact that he’s an actor and model (sure doesn’t look like it from your pic, bro). A high-schooler wrote in with, “Bayonne guy, loves to read Marx and Lenin. I’m 18, but I hope to become a veterinarian.” Okay, kid. Maybe e-mail me when you are a veterinarian. As for the two guys I’ve gone out with—both had a plan, which was great. One date started at Cake Shop, then we got lunch at Waverly Diner and ended up seeing (and making fun of) Step Up 2 the Streets. Ultimately, I responded to the guys who seemed smart, witty and grown-up. I also Googled the shit out of ’em. (tonysingles.kelly@gmail.com)
Ron, 37, writer
Seven women have e-mailed me; I’ve gotten in touch with four of them, one of whom I went on a date with. She was a 33-year-old artist—sweet, wild, fragile… I’m hoping to get to know her better but doubt we’ll be anything but lust buddies before my sense of self-preservation kicks in, or she meets my replacement in a bar. A second woman, a 25-year-old teacher, found my Match.com profile and gently wrote me that her being six feet tall and my being 5'6" was a deal breaker. Given that in my photo, I looked like a disheveled schmo who just auditioned for The Last Days of Chris Farley, I’d say the response has exceeded my expectations. (tonysingles.ron@gmail.com)
Emily, 25, blogger/cookbook author
I received about 15 responses. You’d think that when writing a writer, one might use spell-check. Nope. Here’s a sample: “emily, hi, so ure a blogger, huh, hows that going, what do you usually ‘blog’ about…by the way don’t be mystified, I found your email while I was browsing thru t.o.n.y. at your local barnes & noble, so I finaaly had the guts to pick it up, some pretty interesting articles in there f.y.i. … and yes I did think it was a cute picture f.y.i. yea…” Uh, “f.y.i.,” your local Barnes & Noble or mine? That’s creepy, f.y.i. Especially because I don’t have a local Barnes & Noble, f.y.i. Whatever, your and mine are totally interchangeable. Especially ’cause after this “t.o.n.y.” thing, we’re going to get married, f.y.i. (tonysingles.emily@gmail.com)
Christopher, 37, writer
I received 16 responses and made it to a second date with one promising girl—until she told me she doesn’t date men who’ve ever been to a “gentlemen’s club.” In another case, I didn’t answer a woman’s texts fast enough and she unraveled (“U r the most non-comittal person ive ever met =sure that’s wise for ur age? I pity u”). She’s a lawyer too! (tonysingles.christopher@gmail.com)
Rashida, 30, lawyer/poet
Three people contacted me and I really liked one. Our first date was the best I ever had. We went to the Neue Galerie and a cute French restaurant. Our second date included drinks at the Parker Meridien and a dance performance. But I finally had to go with my gut feeling: I wasn’t attracted to him. We’ve decided to build a friendship instead. (tonysingles.rashida@gmail.com)