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St. Regis Hotel
2 E 55th St at Fifth Ave, 212-753-4500
Cost: $$$$
Would suit: Demur grandparents
Outside, the heart of Manhattan’s poshest retail district. Inside, a butler who awaits guests' every beck and call. This pad has just received the AAA Five Diamond Award (you know, the one Pacino's gunning for in Ocean’s Thirteen) for the 12th consecutive year. Shed a few more bucks and you'll receive a personal trainer at the fitness center or rejuvenating treatments at the St. Regis spa.
What's in it for the locals: Should you stumble into the imposing King Cole Bar one bleary morning (wear your nice shoes!), you can nurse your hangover with a Bloody Mary from the spot that allegedly invented the drink. Of course, it was called a Red Snapper back then.
The Benjamin Hotel
125 E 50th St at Lexington Ave, no. 405; 212-715-2500
Cost: $$$$
Would suit: Demanding parents (and their pooch)
Even if your elders haven't lifted their own bags since before you were teething, they should be impressed by the Benjamin. The building itself, restored to its prewar state, exudes grandeur. While mum and dad debate which headrest to choose from the pillow menu, they can send little Muffin to an appointment with an on-call pet psychic.
What's in it for the locals: The in-house wellness spa, open to the public, offers reasonable prices that belie the hotel's glitz. Treatments range from a ten-minute lavender footbath ($10) to deep-tissue sports massage ($300).
Inn on 23rd Street
131 W 23rd St between Sixth and Seventh Aves, 212-463-0330
Cost: $$–$$$
Would suit: Annoying newlyweds
Yes, a B&B in Manhattan! And it's sorta quaint, too. Family heirlooms, antiques and the owner's eclectic art collection contribute to a sweetly casual atmosphere. Breakfast, private bathrooms, international calls and satellite TV are all included in the price. Perfect for newly married friends who will mostly hole themselves up in their room, anyway.
What's in it for the locals: For an anniversary or romantic weekend, this cozy hideaway is like a city escape within the city. The double-glazed soundproof windows blot out exterior bustle, and there are only 14 rooms, so precious few will hear your ruckus.
City Club Hotel
55 W 44th St between Fifth and Sixth Aves, 212-921-5500
Cost: $$$$
Would suit: Business associates
Today New York, tomorrow London. Such is the life of your successful (according to her) chum who blows into town bandying the company credit card. In addition to your fawning, she'll appreciate this luxurious boutique hotel, where each of 65 rooms is adorned with chocolate-brown marble bathrooms and Wi-Fi. Everything from the complementary gym membership to the Dean & DeLuca–stocked minibar is designed to help travelers mix business with pleasure.
What's in it for the locals: The man behind the on-site victuals is iconic NYC chef Daniel Boulud. Though somewhat famous for its foie gras–enriched burger, the DB Bistro Moderne offers a multitude of culinary treats—in the casual front dining room or the more intimate space around back.
The Gershwin
7 E 27th St between Fifth and Madison Aves, 212-545-8000
Cost: $–$$
Would suit: Creative types
"Snappy dressers tingle our G-spot," claims the Gershwin's sassy website. Expect an interesting mix at this hipster melting pot, where a guest might rub elbows with up-and-coming models housed on the fourth floor, or bohemian backpackers bedding down in the dirt-cheap bunks ($40 per night). For those who can handle it, there will surely be lots to tell the folks back home.
What's in it for the locals: The hotel fancies itself a patron of local artists. In addition to an arts-in-residence program, it holds a weekly showcase called "Live," where a curious soul might find anything from provocative dance to a poetry reading by Edgar Oliver—all for a $10 cover.
The Moderne
243 W 55th St between Eighth Ave and Broadway, 212-397-6767
Cost: $
Would suit: Ascetic shopaholics
This is a no-frills holding pen for living-beyond-their-means mates bent on ravaging the nearby shopping meccas. The rooms are clean and equipped with CD players and hair dryers. The 24-hour complimentary cappuccino service somewhat offsets the lack of bar or restaurant. Plus, it will keep visitors wired and focused on the real point of the trip: Buy! Buy! Buy!
What's in it for the locals: You know what else cheap hotels are good for? Cheap hookups. The respectable 'hood and tasteful reproductions of Warhol's Marilyn that hang in each room should lend a semielegant sheen to the tawdriness of your purpose.
The Hudson
356 W 58th St between Eighth and Ninth Aves, 212-554-6000
Cost: $$$
Would suit: Label-conscious professionals
Each of the Hudson's 1,000 guest rooms are designed to look and feel like private cabins on an upscale yacht, or so says hotel mastermind and industry hotshot Ian Schrager. The plush residence has more concrete amenities as well: a gym with one-on-one physical training, a private park and library and billiard tables and gaming consoles. Take it all in via the website's visual tour.
What's in it for the locals: Little-known fact (don't you love little-known facts?): the 15th floor’s Sky Terrace Bar, officially for guests only, tends to be very lax in checking credentials. Enjoy the views and relative seclusion in April through October only. In winter (or if rebuffed), the ground-level patio bar ain't too bad.
Soho Grand
310 West Broadway between Canal and Grand Sts, 212-965-3000
Cost: $$$
Would suit: Groups
Eclectic and hip downtown environments are not usually designed with breeders in mind. Consider the Soho Grand an exception to the rule. This family-friendly hotel offers complimentary bike rental for all ages, a children's room-service menu, even pacifiers and diaper pails (on request). Also available to guests: a free pet goldfish. Yeah, we're scratching our heads too.
What's in it for the locals: It's not all mommies and daddies here. Step into a glamorous but still accessible Soho social scene during Friday and Saturday parties at the chic ground-floor bar, where a resident DJ spins from 10pm–2am.
Night
132 W 45th St between Broadway and Sixth Ave, 212-835-9600
Cost: $$
Would suit: Goths, people who hate traditional hotels
The dark marketing collateral, dotted with words like fetish, suggests something like Abu Ghraib with better thread counts. However, the facility's plush chariot beds, complimentary overnight shoe shines, and Bose sound systems with black iPod Nanos tell quite a different story. Nonetheless, the bondage-inspired lobby photography and wrought-iron gates will play well to baroque sensibilities.
What's in it for the locals: Two luxe penthouse suites, stocked with Bang & Olufsen custom-designed audio and visual equipment, are available for party rentals for as little as $2,500. Ball gags not included.
The Avalon Hotel Manhattan
16 E 32nd St between Fifth and Madison Aves, 212-299-7000
Cost: $$
Would suit: Large families, your posse
Whether related to them or not, accommodate an entire crew at Avalon's deluxe suites, each of which sleeps up to five people. Children under 12 stay free, provided they room with their parents. At the hearty breakfast or over cocktails in the club room, large groups can hang out in the hotel's roomy interiors without getting on each other's nerves.
What's in it for the locals: If you don't want to sleep apart from the pack, the spacious rooms can be furnished with an additional bed for $50 a night.
