The artist: Melody Cassen
Washington Heights

Photo illustrator (melodycassen.com)

“I wanted to convey that moment of anticipation—of what might be—when everything seems possible and the imagination takes over,” says Cassen. “That’s why I picked this sort of classic beauty; she’s the kind of girl that an everyday guy might stand a chance with.”

Will says: “I’m a big homo, but even I got a little rocky in my pants seeing this one. It reminds me of the candy-colored children’s books from my youth. Perfection. This should be on every tourism brochure!”

Pet says: “It’s very tame, and looks like the first go for a Popsicle ad from a low-end agency. It’d be more memorable if the artist had shown the woman licking the Popsicle with a bit of red juice sliding down her chin. More cleavage couldn’t hurt either.”

Legs says: “A witty, contemporary take on an art-historical canon. The colors and saturation are delicious, but the content leaves me cold. Instead of a skinny blond, I’d much rather see a juicy Boricua with the Popsicle melting down her arm.”

Shmuley says: “It’s an interesting idea, but too suggestive. She knows what she’s doing—and that manipulation undermines her erotic qualities. She’s also too willing; there’s no thrill of the chase here. The average guy probably looks at her and says, ‘I could have her in half an hour and ten bucks at McDonald’s.’ Because, see, that which is revealed too quickly goes from being erotic to crass—the classic example being Britney Spears’s private parts. How boring, how pathetic. The most erotic parts of a woman’s body, when displayed so cavalierly, become idle Internet chatter. Look at Pamela Anderson’s breasts—does anyone still care?”