MELISSA ANDERSON | DAVID FEAR | JOSHUA ROTHKOPF

Tropic Thunder

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Release date: May 22
At first, my interest mostly took the form of rubbernecking: Isn’t Harrison Ford 95 years old already? Shouldn’t somebody make someone aware of this? Then my interest morphed into a general whateverness: Hey, if this is what rocks Spielberg’s world these days, it’s better than Amistad 2: Electric Boogaloo. Now I have a Raiders screenshot as my wallpaper. How did that happen?

The Strangers
Release date: May 30
There’s not even remotely enough horror coming out this summer—there should be, like, one movie a week. You laugh; I don’t. Summer means a chilling of big-budget thrillers like James Cameron’s Aliens. Early buzz on Strangers, a home-invasion creepfest starring Liv Tyler, is enticing enough. But I go begrudgingly, seeing very few options ahead. Damn you, October, for hogging all the good stuff.

Tropic Thunder
Release date: August 15
You’re already hearing a ton about how terrific Robert Downey Jr. is in Iron Man. As it happens, he’ll be pulling a rare summer twofer: In this comedy, about a troupe of spoiled Hollywood actors whose war film turns into an actual battle with the armed locals, RDJ dons blackface. Yup, you read that right. Apparently, the movie is testing through the roof. If anyone can pull this off…

Hamlet 2
Release date: August 27
Steve Coogan makes me laugh helplessly, like no modern comedian has since the heyday of Chris Rock. He hasn’t broken huge in America because his material is way too literate. And I expect the pattern to repeat here, in this comedy about an inept high-school teacher who mounts a musical sequel to the Bard’s classic. But I’ll be there.

Traitor
Release date: August 29
It’s a spy film about the CIA, innocent Muslims and all sorts of skullduggery. Already I dig it. Don Cheadle adds sizzle to the steak. But what intrigues me most? “From an idea by Steve Martin.” Yes—from an idea by the Jerk. From an idea by Rigby Reardon. How could this not be incredible?