Do you consider your character on the show, Phyllis, to be more male than female?

Well, a scene in the script said that my new love interest plants a big old kiss on Phyllis’s lips. When the time came, I kissed her instead! I didn’t wait for the way the script was written, I just felt, wooo!

You just went with it?

Pedal to the metal. It was fun. It’s sexy. I’ve played Martha Stewart in two movies. There was never a love scene or anything. There wasn’t even ever a really good kiss, so it’s nice to be back in romance and drama.

Do you ever run into Martha?

No, we don’t move in the same circles, unfortunately. I heard, though, that she really appreciates me playing her.

Really?

No. [Cracks up] She will someday.

Are you opposed to the word cunt?

I’m not opposed to it if I use it. I really don’t like to see men use it. There’s a certain amount of taking back the power of the word. I have a complicated attitude toward it. It depends on how it’s used: If it’s disrespectful at all, I hate it. If it’s a sexy comment? Sex doesn’t have to be politically correct.

Many years ago, you dated Elvis Presley. How did you meet?

[In a thick Southern accent] His people called me up, actually. It was before the fat Elvis, bless his heart! I definitely had a love affair with Elvis before the fat Elvis. I think it was ’73 or ’74. If you really want to know, I wrote a book called Cybill Disobedience, and you can get it on the Internet. The title of the chapter about Elvis is “White Boys Don’t Eat.”

Oh my God. What did you do on those dates?

Ate chicken-fried steak, deep-fried peanut-butter-and-mayonnaise sandwiches. He had screenings every Wednesday night at this huge movie theater—private screenings with 50 of his closest friends. One of the movies we saw was Sunday Bloody Sunday. They started running the picture, and there was a scene between two gay men. Elvis said, “Ew, gross. Turn off the movie!”

How do you feel about this move to ban models who are too thin?

I think it’s one of the most important things that anybody could do. When I see women that thin, and they look like they’re starving to death, I go, Oww. When I see women walk across the street in high heels, with every step in my head, I’m going, Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. It doesn’t turn me on. So many of them on the runway just look like big blanks. I just find that horrific. I can’t look at the clothes. I find myself looking at the woman. Makes me want to go have a big, old cheeseburger.

Do high heels bother you? Or skinny people wearing high heels?

I meant high heels period. But combine them together? For me, my feet do not work in anything but New Balance running shoes, barefoot and Uggs. I have short toes and a wide front foot—like little piggy toes on a square foot. If I wear open-toe shoes, there are no toes at the bottom. And then when I put on those heels… We all seem to do it when we’re younger and then as you grow older, things start to hurt and you realize that there’s actually a consequence. I think at a certain point in a woman’s life, she does have to choose between ugly shoes or ugly feet.

What’s an old movie you have to watch till the end when it comes on TV?

My Man Godfrey. It’s just so funny, especially the chemistry between Carole Lombard and William Powell, and the fact that she plays this childlike, crazy character—almost an idiot—and yet she’s so sexy. Underneath that ditziness is this wonderful intelligence and charm. And it was a touchstone for me, because when I first saw it I realized it’s okay to be sexy and funny and blond and beautiful. And I feel self-conscious saying that, but often as a “beauty,” you’re not supposed to be funny. I have a theory that you have to be careful of what cosmetic things you do to your face, because [you] might not be as funny.

What do you mean?

We’re all going toward this more perfect look. I haven’t had anything—I don’t even do Botox yet. Yet! And I don’t judge anybody who does, but I see the changes in people and I’m terrified to do it. First of all you have to have a needle. [Screams] Needles! On! My! Face! I’m chickenshit when it comes to that.

To me, the scariest part is that you just don’t know how it’s going to turn out.

I find, too, that when I start to notice that a person looks different, I get distracted. It’s harder for me to listen to what people are saying. Obviously, I have to get past that. [Laughs] My mother has always said to me, “Oh, I’d give anything to have a face-lift. I’d do it in a minute.” And I was tellin’ her, “No, no, no! Don’t you do that! You look so beautiful.” [Conspiratorially] So I did that test with my children too. I went to my daughter and said, “You know, I’m thinking about having my eyes done.” And she said, “Don’t you dare do that, Mom! Don’t do anything! You look great.” I was like, Okay that’s the right answer. Put it off for a year—then don’t do it.

The new season of The L Word premieres on Showtime Sun 7 at 10pm.