John gets fashionably frisked.

CRIME Overlogo’d
New York has enough billboards without you flashing advertisements on your clothes.

VIOLATOR John in Union Square
The perp was so smothered in logos, he looked as though he’d been caught in a corporate circle jerk. The evidence was splattered everywhere: a New Jersey Devils top, a Yankees cap, Jim Beam pajama pants, Nike shoes and Snoopy underwear. Lord knows what I’d find if I did a cavity search. Worse, he didn’t fully believe in what he was advertising. “I like bourbon, but not Jim Beam,” he admitted. “I drink Jack Daniel’s…and I have pants for those, too.” John, you are one sick puppy.

CRIME Denim abuse
Mom jeans, acid-washed denim jackets, cutoff jeans shorts: Friends don’t let friends wear ugly denim.

Dan

VIOLATOR Dan at FIT
A pair of Abercrombie & Fitch jeans became the victim of a cruel attack when this assailant used scissors to viciously amputate the legs. Dan, an FIT student (read: dude should know better), flaunts his crime by wearing the helpless cutoffs “five times a week”—even in frigid weather. “I don’t really care what people think,” he sniffed. “A lot of people like them.” Are those people named Britney Spears and Daisy Mae Duke?

CRIME Reckless pairing of leggings with crop tops
Leggings may be comfortable for you, but seeing your camel toe makes everyone else in the room very uncomfortable.

VIOLATOR Ana at the Manhattan Mall
Ana and her all-too-revealing leggings learned a harsh lesson when I followed ’em into a Foot Locker to lay the smackdown. Her “on my way to school outfit,” as she called it (black leggings paired with a black top that stopped at her waist), gave fellow mall rats a view of her 11th toe. “But they’re superthick American Apparel leggings!” she pleaded. “You can’t really see anything!” Please. Like Dov Charney’s gonna make a legging that doesn’t show off your hoo-ha.

Who do you want to see TONYPD bust next? E-mail suggestion to inyc@timeoutny.com.

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