Well, they’re building on what you guys did…
Yeah, there’s no question. But everything is eclectic and everything builds… I guess I was building on Sid Caesar and Ernie Kovacs, so it’s always going to be that way. But then things sort of standardized and status quo for years. People then say, “Oh, it’s not like the old days.” They say that all the time. But I don’t think that means much, really. This show is littered with cast members who drink water! They’re not potheads or cokeheads or anything else like that. There isn’t freebasing going on somewhere. They’re all healthy and they’re all smart and they’re all good. They’re nice people, too. So I have an almost fatherly affection for these people, and I think that I’ll probably end up hosting the show this year. I’m not out of the mainstream totally. Wait, maybe I am. That’s just age or something. It’s not like I’m getting a lot of parts in movies, but I will and I’ll be doing television. I’m still malleable.

You’re still interested in the life then?
Oh, sure! I’m still interested in acting. I love it. If you could just get me some agents. Just kidding. I have good people, but it’s hard to push a guy around Hollywood when he lives in New York and is in his sixties now.

That’s funny. What does it say on your business card?
My business card? I haven’t looked at it lately. I do remember what I put on there, though. It says “Chevy Chase” and then it says, in little italics, “Legend, Icon, Patriot.”

Perfect.

[Laughs] Patriot is my dad’s. He was the funniest.

What do you think about them getting the punk from Dawson’s Creek to play Fletch in the new movie?I didn’t know there was one.

I read it on the internet. It has to be true.
No, no. I wouldn’t trust any of that. Four years ago or so Harvey Weinstein wanted to make it, and he came to me even earlier than that and said, “I’d like you to be in the new Fletch.” I said, “Wait, there’s another Fletch?” And he said, “Yeah, maybe you could be the father or something.” I said, “What? Are you kidding? People are going to say, ‘Hey there’s Fletch.’ That’s just not going to happen.” It’s not like doing Cape Fear and having Gregory Peck just step in for a quick role. It’s a different thing. Fletch is totally me and I’d feel kind of silly. I don’t know if this kid is good or not. Let them eat cake. Let them enjoy it. I do know that I won’t be partaking. And I would say don’t believe what you read, because I probably would’ve heard by now if they were really shooting it or anything.

What’s the biggest misconception about Chevy Chase?
About me? I guess the size of my dick. No, I don’t know. It has been a long time since anyone has asked me a question like that. That I’m dead. [Laughs]. I don’t really know. There was, for a while, a misconception out in Los Angeles that I was hard to work with. And everybody that that has ever worked with me knows that I’m quite easy; I like to laugh and I’m always on time and always ready. But these kinds of rumors… It’s a tough town. So that was sort of the misconception out there. But out here? I don’t really know, man. You’d have to sort of come up with something.

In the Three Amigos, a personal favorite of mine…
Ah, I love that one too.

Steve Martin, towards the end, he starts talking about how everyone has their own personal El Guapo to face.
Yes!

Who is Chevy Chase’s personal El Guapo?
Right now, I’ve been… My personal El Guapo: That’s the silliest question I’ve ever heard… [Laughs] If I told Steve, he’d just laugh. My God. That was a specious… That was just a fatuous thing. It was like the plethora joke. That’s pure Steve, isn’t it? I love those guys. My personal El Guapo would be… Let’s see… Will Ferrell. [Laughs]. Who I think is very funny, but he’s my personal el Guapo, okay? Put that in there. He’s got his thing, to say the least. I’m not real fond of his big, white pimply ass being shown in every picture.

He’s getting kind of typecast….
I think so. I think his pimply ass is kind of typecast. Don’t just print that, though. Print the good stuff I said about him. too.

If you ran for public office, what fact about you would Republican attack dogs fasten onto first?
If I were running? Believe me, I’ve thought about it many times. I think my academic record might do it. I was always a little bit immature emotionally for academia at the time. I never paid a lot of attention to homework, and just sort of latched onto what I thought I would need to learn. Since then, I’ve learned a great deal, but they’d latch onto that and say, “Hey, look at his grades!” As if it hurt George Bush.

You’d at least be a better public speaker than he is.
Perhaps.

How have your kids influenced your career?
They have influenced it a great deal, and maybe in a different way than you might think. I have three daughters, and we moved from Los Angeles out here about 15 years ago. More, maybe. I though my career would take a hit, and it did. We did that because my daughters… Frankly, they were all born in L.A., but I didn’t want them growing up in that atmosphere. I wanted to have seasons. I come from Woodstock [NY], and seasons are just instrumental to me. It’s a subliminal sense of progress and change that’s normal. As opposed to living in 85 degrees and smoggy all week and all year. So that was big. And just getting away from that climate… It’s all about movies and how you look in the social register. That’s just crap. So, they’re all at Barnard and NYU, they’re doing great. I’m glad we did it, but I took a big hit because, at the time, I think people had already seen enough of me. [Laughs]. They sort of knew my style and the kinds of pictures I was doing. I guess I was getting tiring. I don’t really know, but I’m assuming that is what happens. On the other hand, when people see me in the street, they’re all up and down, “When’s your next movie?” So it’s hard to really know on a subjective level. They affected me and my wife. My wife is very happy and doing what she wants to do, so she’s going along great. I had to go through this period where I was like, Hey, wait a minute I thought I was important. I’m glad I did it though. It’s worth it just for the very natural reason that I get to see my kids. We’re all going to have kids, or most of us, and we’re all going to pass away—I’ll probably pass away tomorrow—and you want to leave them with love.

What is Chevy Chase’s favorite breakfast cereal?
I just had my hearty grain, whole-wheat little squares.

Shredded wheat?
Yeah, sort of shredded wheat. But it’s whole grain. My wife is trying to keep me alive. I combine it with some Smart Start and some granola.

That’s how she keeps you going?
It keeps you going all right. It’s like my dad said: “I like a good bowl of blast loose in the morning.” That was his name for it.

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