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1. BROOKLYN
This week: 
Last week: 4
Reason: Thousands of Little Leaguers celebrated the start of baseball season with the annual opening-day parade. Angry protesters mobbed the scene until they realized it had nothing to do with the 2008 Summer Olympics.
2. QUEENS
This week: 
Last week: 1
Reason: The State Senate passed a bill to rename the Triborough Bridge for Robert F. Kennedy. Most people thought the idea would be shot down in its prime.
3. STATEN ISLAND
This week:
Last week: 5
Reason: Staten Island resident Marie Kennington-Gardiner was named the new local aviation czar. The first item on her to-do list: End the cold war between Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks.
4. MANHATTAN
This week:
Last week: 2
Reason: Police Commissioner Ray Kelly wrote a letter to the MTA, MSG and Amtrak, expressing concerns over the lack of security at Penn Station. A rep from MSG replied: “Not to worry—even terrorists don’t want to be anywhere near the Knicks right now.”
5. THE BRONX
This week:
Last week: 3
Reason: Sixty Bronx schools were found to have dangerous levels of PCBs in their caulking, far exceeding the federal limits. Said one 18-year-old ninth grader, “I got your caulk right here.…it too exceeds federal limits.”
Jon Fisch has appeared on Comedy Central and Last Comic Standing. For more info, go to jonfisch.com or hit him up on Facebook. (He’s obsessed.)
