1. STATEN ISLAND
This week:
Last week: 3
Reason: A $20 million sexual harassment suit has been filed against a S.I. veterinarian. The amorous vet says it was all just a misunderstanding over his wanting to pet her cat.

2. BROOKLYN
This week:
Last week: 4
Reason: A federal judge tossed out a gun charge and proceeded to belittle a Brooklyn cop’s method for spotting illegal weapons. Sounds harsh, but the method was grabbing a guy’s crotch and asking, “Is that a gun, or are you just happy to see me?”

3. BRONX
This week:
Last week: 5
Reason: The upcoming All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium will feature interactive activities for the kids, batting cages and full-size pitching mounds. Perhaps most exciting: the Steroid Hut.

4. MANHATTAN
This week:
Last week: 1
Reason: The state Supreme Court just ruled that the Port Authority is partially liable for the 1993 bombing of the Twin Towers. The Port Authority has promised to do a better job of protecting the towers from now on.

5. QUEENS
This week:
Last week: 2
Reason: A DJ is being charged with possession of an instructional video on how to sexually abuse children. This might not be conclusive evidence; I have videos on how to redo my cabinets and I never watch those.

Costaki Economopoulos is an accomplished comedian, and can be seen on the upcoming season of Last Comic Standing. Pick up his CD at costaki.com.

See previous The borough standings