THE STAKEOUT

Will New Yorkers queue with bated breath if they think an A-lister is inside a hotel? I posed as a paparazzo to find out. “Can you help me look for Jennifer Aniston?” I asked passerby Jason, 29. He nodded and together we inspected the Mercer’s every nook; he even helped divert the concierge’s attention by grilling her about room rates. Eventually I confessed the hoax and asked why he agreed to help. “I was just being nice,” he shrugged. “If a legend like Henry Kissinger were in there, I’d be more excited.”

“Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey are inside the Mercer!” I screamed at Isabelle, 18, and Jack, 19, as they approached. “Really?” Isabelle asked, eyes wide. “Nick and Mariah?” snorted Jack. “They’re kinda gross.” Undeterred, I begged ’em to scour the lobby for me, making up a line about the ’razzi being banned. They emerged empty-handed, of course, and Jack was okay with that: “I’d rather see Agyness Deyn or Conor Oberst any day.”

THE SIGHTING

Will a celebrity look-alike act the part if a local is convinced they’re someone they’re not? Spotting a faux Reese Witherspoon on the street, I trailed her and shouted, “Reese! Reese! Can I take a photo with you?!?” Olla, 18, stared at me dumbfounded. “Who?” I assured her that I wasn’t there to gossip about Jake, Ryan or her killer beach bod, but she continued the front: “I don’t know who this Reese is.…Is she famous?” Um, hello. Surely we’re not the only ones with a fuchsia-and-Swarovski Legally Blonde cell phone?

“Naomi! I can’t believe it’s you!” I shouted down the sidewalk at doppelgänger Kafui, 22. A crowd began to form but the knockout just laughed and said: “You’re the third person today to say that to me!” “Because it’s really you!” I squealed, insisting she give me her autograph. She finally agreed, scribbling you’re cute in my notebook. And you’re totally famous!

THE PETITION

“Can you sign my petition? I need 1,000 signatures in order to get Brenda Walsh—Shannen Doherty—on the new 90210!” I told Suzanne, 40, in the middle of Madison Square Park. “Oh my God! I love Brenda,” she cried, reaching for my pen and clipboard. “I used to watch 90210 on Wednesday nights with pizza and beer!” Alright then! One down, 999 to go.

Asking David, 32, and his buddies if they’d sign my petition hit a nerve: “Guess what?” he said. “There were no black people on 90210. If the new class has a black person [Ed note: It does.], then I might sign it. Besides, Brenda was the worst on the show—and off. She’s a diva! And why are there no black people in the Sex and the City movie? [Ed note: There are.] You mean to tell me there are no black folks in New York City?” So…is that a no on the Brenda signature?

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