Illustration: Eika

Date: Saturday, Aug 2, 2008 5:26:35 PM
To: inyc@timeoutny.com

Subject: Bachelorette assistance!

Here’s the deal: I’m the best bridesmaid (a.k.a. the maid of honor) in my bf’s wedding. We are going out next Friday for the night-on-the-town component of the bachelorette party and we need a place to dance!

Julie E.
Upper East Side, Manhattan

As you know, these send-offs into matrimonial bliss can veer between yoga weekends and Chippendales dongs. “Success comes from knowing what the bride-to-be really wants, which means that getting the necessary information is paramount,” says party planner Jen Schiffer, co-owner of Flawless Media.

We knew Julie’s friend wanted neither a tea party nor a fake-cop stripper, so we set out to find a happy dance-heavy medium. With several options to choose from—including mega–Meatpacking stalwarts Mansion (530 W 28th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves; 212-629-9000, mansionny.com), Cielo (18 Little W 12th St between Ninth Ave and Washington St; 212-645-5700, cieloclub.com), and Apt (419 W 13th St between Ninth Ave and Washington St; 212-414-4245, aptwebsite.com)—Julie and crew settled on Soho’s Upstairs (95 Spring St between Broadway and Mercer St, second floor, 212-431-4350), owned by promoter Danny A.

The nine partygoers, all Manhattanite professionals in their late twenties, met up first at an impressive Chelsea loft for margaritas, charades and phallic paraphernalia (yes, there were penis straws). Invigorated with tequila-induced confidence, the bride-to-be, Kelly, donned the requisite blinking wedding veil as they headed to bottle service at Upstairs.

A police bust kept the club quiet for the first hour, but rather than flee to a more crowded venue, this hen party held their ground—they were here to have fun no matter what. Who cares if they were the only people there and the alcohol service had been temporarily put on ice? For five hours, they danced to hip-hop mashed with pop, eventually drinking vodka concoctions till the bottles ran dry.

“It’s a chance to hang out with all your girlfriends, which is a rarity,” said guest Emily. Most important, the guest of honor was happy: “I don’t go to clubs very much. I think that is why this felt so fun and special,” gushed Kelly. “It was the best night ever!”

Looking to go smaller than the bottle-service club scene? Try danceable bars like Good World (3 Orchard St between Berry and Canal St; 212-925-9975, goodworldbar.com), Pianos (158 Ludlow St between Rivington and Stanton Sts; 212-505-3733, pianosnyc.com) or Gatsby’s (53 Spring St between Mulberry and Lafayette Sts; 212-334-4430, gatsbysnyc.com). Sure, goofy horndogs will make a beeline for bachelorettes at any watering hole, but consider them practice for the groping relatives and drunken groomsmen.

Or screw the clubs…

Try these alternatives to say goodbye to singledom with flair—and maybe even a gun.

Smackdown University

Smackdown University
Forget naughty plastic jewelry—this forum for open sexual dialogue will show you how to rope-tie your partner or how to orgasm, well, dramatically. “We teach how to dominate your partner with your bare hands or through wrestling or role playing,” says Professor Veronica Vicious. “Our lessons are about how to have a more fulfilling sex life through empowerment.” Any groom that gets a mere stripclub soiree from his pals will be jealous.$200–$300 for an hour-long group session, smackdownu.com

West Side Rifle and Pistol Range

West Side Rifle and Pistol Range
Over-21–year–olds can shoot a .22 rifle without a permit, so you can release any aggression you were saving for your future mother-in-law. After a safety course, the $50-per-person session includes the use of a rifle, fifty rounds and, so no one misses the “I do,” ear and eye protection.20 W 20th St between Fifth and Sixth Aves; 212-929-7287, westsidepistolrange.com

Trapeze School New York

Trapeze School New York
Thrill-seeking bridesmaids can literally swing from the rafters ($47-$75 per person). “We do about two or three bachelorette parties per week,” says founder Dave Brown. “Women really bond during the trapeze class.” Best of all, you can even wear a veil while trapezing, as long as it is small enough to not get caught on the equipment. 518 W 30th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves; 212-242-8769, trapezeschool.com

Got a problem? E-mail inyc@timeoutny.com and we might look into it.

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