Then you hit the road in a superdeluxe tour bus and play shows for people who worship you.
You think you’re gonna be up all night partying—which to an extent you kind of are. In the early stages you try your best to live up to that lifestyle. After a bit, though, you kind of realize that you’re enjoying the experience less because you’re knackered all day and playing shit.

So despite the party-animal reputation, Arctic Monkeys practice moderation?
We have a lot of fun and we always go out. But we’ve met loads of people in bands that you expect would be like that, and then you find out they just go to bed and read a book.

Were you surprised by the amount of work involved in touring the world?
It hasn’t seemed difficult yet.

I’m trying to throw you a bone here—shed some light on the hidden strife of a hot young rock band!
I think by the end of a tour we’re always happy to come home. But that’s just natural, isn’t it?

Indeed it is. What about your daily schedule? Surely it’d make an office worker weep.
We get up in the morning, do a couple interviews, do a sound check and then do the gig at night.

That’s it?
It’s not like a day packed full of things. By the end of the day you find that you’ve hardly done anything all day. I mean, sometimes I stay in bed till sound check.

But then you miss out on the local delights. Do you guys make an effort to get a feel for the cities you visit on tour?
Yeah, that’s a lot of fun. I remember doing a gig in Tempe, Arizona, and there were, like, 2,000 people there to watch us in the middle of the desert. I think it was the hottest day of my life. My eyeballs were warm.

Arctic Monkeys play Rumsey Playfield Wed 5.