It looks like a bistro and it sounds like a bistro, but this Hell’s Kitchen newcomer proved to be about as authentically French as an Au Bon Pain. The menu—bigger than those found at a typical Greek diner—features meat loaf and pasta, as well as a bunch of misspelled desserts scrawled on the mirror, including soufle gran marnier and a fromboisse tart. The room adheres to design protocol: long, slim room bedecked with Tiffany-style lamps, a scuffed mirror and a potted palm (smooth jazz befitting an elevator). Still, the chef has a serviceable grasp of basic French cooking. His escargots, served without shells, were plump, tender and properly drenched in garlicky butter. Warm goat-cheese salad, featuring three large, breaded discs of fromage plated on an arugula tangle, suffered from a surfeit of dressing. Coq au vin, a falling-off-the-bone half chicken, was served with bland mashed potatoes and overcooked green beans and carrots. Slightly better was the steak frites—grill-marked beef with crisp golden fries—one of the pricier entrées at $21. We held out hope, however, through the bitter end, ordering the crêpes suzette, only to learn that, like half the bottles on the very short wine list, this dessert was not actually in stock. C’est la vie.—TONY