Julia at Blue Ribbon’s Downing Street Wine Bar, 34 Downing St at Bedford St, 212-691-0404.

Photograph: pickettphoto.net

Oaky? Smoky? Redolent of strawberries and tobacco? If these qualities exist in wine, I am ignorant to their presence. I can’t distinguish between sauvignon blanc and chardonnay; I’m not able to describe the finer points of a bordeaux; and I didn’t understand most of the references in Sideways.

In fact, aside from “drink white with fish, and red with meat,” there’s little I know about wine; except for the fact that it plays a huge part in the world of dating. I don’t often drink, but on a first date, I’ll always have a glass.

So it’s more than a little embarrassing that after four years of dating in New York, whenever a suitor asks me which wine I’d prefer, I defer to him.

Gary Vaynerchuk, host of The Thunder Show (winelibrarytv.com), insists that I don’t have to wallow in the depths of oeno-ignorance. His new book, 101 Wines Guaranteed to Inspire, Delight and Bring Thunder to Your World, aims to teach neophytes the ABCs of vino. “A lot of critics and wine writers are guilty of talking down to the public,” Vaynerchuk says. “Other books promise to teach you everything about wine. I say, go teach yourself.” Learning everything about a subject as vast as wine is intimidating, so all I want to know is how to impress my date with my very basic knowledge of wine.

“Be honest,” Vaynerchuk tells me. “Too many people fake the knowledge.”

Okay, so no blabbering about the hot, new Australian varietals.

Pay attention to the wine you’re drinking, Vaynerchuk says, and “make a note of what you had and why you liked it. Don’t be afraid to ask the sommelier questions; this shows confidence.”

That sentiment is echoed by David Sokolin, owner of Sokolin Wines, the largest seller of rare wines in the country and author of Investing in Liquid Assets. “Use your sommelier—that’s what he’s there for. Say ‘Listen, this is what we’re eating; what on your list pairs well with this food?’”

And what I thought was the most taboo thing to do—order the cheapest wine—is actually advisable. “Sometimes the cheapest wine on a list can be really, really good,” says Sokolin. “Wine doesn’t want to be put on a pedestal.”

But how can I talk about wine intelligently without sounding like I’m trying too hard?

When asking for wine recommendations you can describe what you like using general terms (like crisp), just stay away from nondescript words like good. Oh, and there’s one word to use that will always make you sound like a pro, says Sokolin. “Balanced. Like, ‘This wine is so balanced.’ Very rarely will you be refuted on that.”

Other adjectives to use? Sokolin offers up a list: thick, creamy, smooth, explosive, voluptuous, etc. Sounds like a pretty good first date to me.

E-mail her at julia@timeoutny.com.

See previous Julia Allison on dating