ABoy, you’re awfully judgmental for a dude with an itchy caps-lock finger. First of all, the guy in question made it clear that he was not into having another guy manhandle him, so that doesn’t exactly scream “gay” to me. Second, although I agree that single-sex group-jacking to porn does have a bit of a gay vibe to it, it’s not exactly a shocking revelation that horny straight guys who are hard up for sex (as in prisons, submarines or the Republican congressional caucus) sometimes relax their usually stringent straight-guy standards. I don’t know what was going through these guys’ heads, but I clearly wasn’t as shocked by the scenario as you were. In fact, if it weren’t for the guy-on-guy hand jobs, I suspect this type of thing goes on in fraternity houses all the time. In any case, you weren’t the only straight guy left slack-jawed by the letter. Check this out:

QWhat the heck?!? I’d heard other (straight) guys talk about circle jerks and the like, but I was always incredulous that so many guys who swear they’re straight do this. I got the impression from the guy’s letter that many if not all of the cock grabbers would say they’re straight. Of course it’s okay for this guy to take himself “out of the mix.” Why would anyone need reassurance on this? But more interestingly, why the heck would any of these guys start grabbing each others’ cocks just because they’re watching porn? As a straight guy, I do not want another guy jacking me off. That is not going to change just because I get horny watching a porno with a guy. I sometimes get excited watching a good fight in a movie, but I’m never going to want the guy sitting next to me to punch me in the face. Granted, I do not want a woman to punch me in the face either, so my analogy isn’t perfect, but the point is you seemed to accept this story like the guy was telling you the time of day. Is it common for guys in dorms to sit around watching porn together and jacking each other off, considering it a perfectly reasonable way to relieve the pressure? I remember being hard up as a college guy too, but I was never so hard up that I preferred a guy to jack me off, as opposed to doing it myself.

AOkay, so I guess the lesson here is: This is not an activity that all straight guys should expect their buddies to take part in. Or as another reader put it: “How come I’ve never been asked by my friends to join them in a jerk-off session before we play Xbox? We have all discussed this and we all came to the conclusion that it’s just weird.… It’s fuckin’ weird.” Fair enough. Everbody’s got their own sexual parameters, and I think it’s clear that this group of dorm whackers is pushing the straight-male envelope (perhaps I should have made that more clear in the first go-round). Still, I hardly think this makes them all gay. More libertine? Perhaps. Horny as fuck? Certainly. But not 100 percent, no-questions-asked gay.

While we’re focusing on the straight-male psyche, I’ve got one more reader-response e-mail to share with you. It has to do with a question I got a long time ago, which for some reason, this dude saved and finally put to good use. It just goes to show you that even when I think I’m pulling something out of my admittedly erudite ass, it can still make a difference. God, I’m powerful.

QJamie, some years ago you responded to a lady inquiring as to how she could know which males were more generously endowed than others just by looking at them. You responded that there was no way to know for certain; however, better, more confident posture could be one likely indicator. After years of encouragement, pleading and frustration over trying to get my two teenage sons to not slouch, I clipped your note and presented it to them. I’m pleased to report both have since emulated West Point cadets! It’s perplexing to see intelligent, worldly, should-know-better individuals with banana posture. Thank you for remedying my young men from projecting this negative image of themselves.

AWell, I’m glad I could be of some service, although you do realize that if every slouchy minidicked guy (not that I’m accusing your sons of being minidicked) now puts on the West Point act, that will screw over every woman who’s on the hunt for some big-dicked prey. Of course, it was a wildly inexact proposal in the first place, so I suppose it makes much more sense to use it as a posture incentive than a surefire indicator of hungness.

Send letters to Jamie Bufalino c/o Time Out New York, 475 Tenth Avenue, 12th floor, New York, NY 10018, or send e-mail to sex@timeoutny.com. Check out “Sex on the Street” with Jamie Bufalino at timeoutnewyork.com/video.