[title]
Flower beards are thing now, apparently, according to people in the media who think of things to say on a slow news day. Basically, men are putting (heavy sigh) flowers (long, pensive look out of a rainy window) in their beards (shakes head, drinks whiskey). Now, given that various "trend pieces" are making their way into the cultural lexicon, one might think that this is somehow an actual trend. Well, we here at Time Out New York are here to dispel the lies and tomfoolery going around about this singularly idiotic fashion dead-end.
First off: nobody outside of a Tumblr photographer (#ugh) is having this done to their beards, especially in New York City. Should you wear this look around, say, the Lower East Side, you would be met with looks not of childlike wonder and appreciation but instead those of outright disgust. When I asked a bearded man pushing a shopping cart (one can only assume to Whole Foods in order to fill it with organic groceries) outside of the Time Out offices, he grunted meanly and threw me a look that could kill a small pony. "Fuck you," he said, before speeding off into the rainy Tuesday mid-afternoon, presumably to a pognolagist.
Others seem to find it quite funny. Time Out New York music editor Andrew Frisicano says, "I'm benignly indifferent, bordering on affection, and a hairs breadth away from obsession. I think Wu-Tang said it best in their Cribs episode...you keep a fresh house, you keep a fresh beard. It just translates."
Who are we to include nature in our beards, as if we were some dirty hippies languishing helplessly in the wake of a generational ship passing us by?
Besides, Bill Murray did it first. And better, too, we should add.