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A recent report from the Economist revealed that puppies, those adorable fur-balls that con their way into our homes and hearts with wagging tails and big eyes, have been part of a malicious plot to destroy the environment with their pooping ways. On average, Fido releases 275 pounds of turds per year, to be diligently picked up by his human slave. That poop releases methane, one of those greenhouse gases you’ve been warned about, and costs the city a $100 per (literal) crap ton. Can the four-legged scoundrels help that they produce approximately twice as much waste as humans and are, for the most part, unable to use toilets?
The jury is still out, but with hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers choosing to own these fiends, and approximately a million more staring longingly every time they go past a pet store window (ourselves included), the city’s former recycling tsar Ron Gonen has proposed a green-solution called “Sparky Power.” The potential program would bring anaerobic digesters—machines that can break down biodegradable material in feces and convert it into gas—to three of the city’s parks. The gas from the disposed poo would, in turn, be used to power the park’s lights and equipment; your mutt would go from a zero to an environmental hero faster than Al Gore. As if dog owners needed another reason to feel smug.