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What would Yankees-flavored wine really taste like?

Written by
Christina Izzo
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Beer and baseball go hand in hand, but Major League Baseball is classing up game-time boozing by getting into the wine business. Branching off the MLB's production of championship champagne and All-Star Game reds and whites, the league is releasing branded bottles for seven teams, including a bold, fruit-forward Chicago Clubs red, a spirited Texas Rangers chardonnay and a refreshing dry Riesling for New York's own Yankees, created by upstate's Anthony Road Winery.

The vin is available online, in local wine shops and, soon, at major chains like Whole Foods, but before you buy, you should definitely peruse the wines' real tasting notes. (Hint: we totally made these up).

Red Sox Club Series Reserve 2012 Alexander Valley Cabernet Sauvignon: Beard sweat and unfiltered Charles River water, with a finishing nose of 86-year-aged bitterness.

Yankees Reserve 2014 Finger Lakes Dry Riesling: Success and Steinbrenner fear, tinged with the perfume of every actress Derek Jeter has ever dated. (And, yes, it's overpriced).

Cubs Limited Edition 2013 Central Coast Chardonnay: Goat breath, "L" smog and deep-dish-pizza shame.

Phillies Reserve 2012 Central Coast Proprietary Red: Whiffs of Cheese Whiz with a metallic Liberty-Bell tang, capped with a Rocky-style "A-DRIANNNNN" bellow.

Giants Mumm Napa Championship Brut:
Stale pot and silicon chips, blooming with a bouquet of Rice-A-Roni seasoning packets.

Rangers Reserve 2012 Sonoma County Chardonnay: A barbecue-sauce body, balanced by saddle grease and country-music whining.

Mariners Reserve 2011 Columbia Valley Red: Pacific salt air, flannel moth balls and rain, holy crap, so much rain.

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