Joke of the Year

Find out who won our Joke of the Year 2013 poll and see the jokes from all of this year's worthy contenders

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  • Yes! The results are in. You voted in the thousands, and we can reveal that the funniest joke cracked in New York in 2013 was… well, you'll just have to click the slideshow above to find out—and check out winning gags from the rest of our fave comedians.

  • Photograph: Mindy Tucker

    WINNER: Zach Broussard

     
    17.7%


    I got busted with MILF porn on my computer and now I’m not allowed within 500 feet of a night school.

    Follow Zach Broussard on Twitter at @zachbroussard.

  • Photograph: Charlie Sotelo

    Louis Katz

     
    16.2%


    Whenever I type jizzed, Microsoft Word insists I meant jazzed. I guess having your face jazzed on is preferable. Unless it’s scat.

    Follow Louis Katz on Twitter at @louiskatz.

  • Photograph: David Muller

    Beth Stelling

     
    16.0%


    Biking has helped me lose weight, which is nice, because I was getting real tired of people getting a boner for my personality.

    Follow Beth Stelling on Twitter at @BethStelling.

  • Photograph: Mindy Tucker

    Michelle Wolf

     
    15.4%


    Opinions are like assholes: If you get me drunk enough, we can explore mine.

    Follow Michelle Wolf on Twitter at @michelleisawolf.

  • Photograph: Karim Iliya

    Sammy Obeid

     
    13.4%


    I’m Palestinian and my roommate is Jewish, so we’re always fighting over where his room starts and mine ends. He pays more rent, but I’ve lived there longer.

    Follow Sammy Obeid on Twitter at @SammyObeid.

  • Photograph: Mindy Tucker

    Pat Dixon

     
    10.0%


    I’ve never read the Bible, but I believe it. It’s like one of those long license agreements you see on the Internet. You don’t have to read it; you just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree."

    Follow Pat Dixon on Twitter at @PatDixon.

  • Photograph: Alvina Lai

    Hadiyah Robinson

     
    5.2%


    You can tell it’s a ghetto baby shower ’cause they play games like Pin the Baby on the Daddy.

    Follow Hadiyah Robinson on Twitter at @hadiyah.

  • Photograph: Mandee Johnson

    Ali Wong

     
    3.1%


    I hooked up with a guy who refused to put it in the back. I was like, “You’re an idiot, dude. Do you realize that if I posted ‘Tiny Asian Female Seeking Anal’ on Craigslist, the Internet would crash?”

    Follow Ali Wong on Twitter at @aliwong3000.

  • Photograph: Noah Kalina

    Streeter Seidell

     
    3.0%


    Selective sewing over many generations of female jeans has resulted in pockets that are, today, largely vestigial.

    Follow Streeter Seidell on Twitter at @streetseidell.

Yes! The results are in. You voted in the thousands, and we can reveal that the funniest joke cracked in New York in 2013 was… well, you'll just have to click the slideshow above to find out—and check out winning gags from the rest of our fave comedians.

  1. 2013 Joke of the Year
  2. 2012 Joke of the Year

Users say

2 comments
Joey
Joey

Michelle Wolf's should have won. Clever and actually funny. The rest were mostly pretty lame. A couple half chuckles, but that's being generous. I'm sure their standup is funnier and these quotes are relatively out of context, but if that's the case, the quote should've been different.

Kenny
Kenny

Bad taste in a joke. First of all there are many interpretations of this. Are you a predator and were talking about young "milf"s under 18 getting their GED or are you completely sexist. For a magazine that's part of the politically correct crowd that probably doesn't want to offend a race, gender or nationality I am disgusted that you would choose to offend women with children. Absolutely DISGUSTING. Very poor taste. Very disappointed in Timeout ny