Hehe, food's to delicious for rules... unless it's a "don't eat the beans with lateral striations or you'll die" kind of rule. : D
The ten burger commandments
When it comes to a patty chow-down, these are the rules of the game
Thu Aug 7 2014
Illustration: Bryan Mayes
We know you're hungry; you know you're hungry. And lucky for you, New York offers some of the best burgers around—we've even shown you how to assemble the perfect burger yourself. But before you get that napkin flappin', it's essential you follow these rules—your taste buds' happiness may depend on it.
1. Thou shalt always have fries with that. Salads have no place on the plate.
2. Thou shalt refrain from filler: Onions, peppers and—most atrociously—bread crumbs have no place in a patty.
3. Thou shalt wholeheartedly embrace the greasy, multiple-napkin gluttony of burger eating. Leave your diet at the door.
4. Thou shalt always choose the butcher’s counter over the frozen-food aisle.
5. Thou shalt not lie with turkey, chicken or ahi tuna. These are merely impostors for the true faithful.
6. Thou shalt acknowledge a triple-bacon cheeseburger after 3am only, and only if you’ve slugged enough booze to forget about it by 3:05am.
7. Thou shalt get down and dirty. This ain’t a dainty affair.
8. Thou shalt never wield a knife and fork when eating a hamburger. Like pizza and burritos, burgers are a hands-on business.
9. Thou shalt not put your patty down for idle chitchat. The quality of a burger, unlike fine wine, rapidly diminishes by the minute.
10. Thou shalt never partake in the blasphemy of a well-done burger. When dealing with good beef, medium-rare is gospel.
RECOMMENDED: All of NYC's best burgers
You might also like
Readers’ choice best burgers: Ten NYC classics
Critics’ choice best burgers: Ten NYC classics
Ten best new burgers: New York City’s freshest patties
Best fries: The crispiest spuds in New York City
Weirdest burgers in NYC: Riffs on the cookout classic
The history of the hamburger: An American invention
Burger trends: The rise of three patties
Ten burger commandments
Best burgers food porn slide show: NYC’s best patties
Food & Drink events calendar
- 100 best New York restaurants
- The best free food deals at NYC bars
- The 50 best brunch places in NYC
- The best food trucks in NYC
- Oktoberfest in NYC
- NYC's best rooftop bars
- 50 best New York bars
- The 50 best brunch places in NYC: Manhattan
- Cheap eats in NYC: The best budget dining in New York
- 100 best New York restaurants: New American food