“New York is made up of high-achieving and competitive personalities. If their kid gets into a top school, parents feel they can rest a bit, knowing that they’ve done their best for their family,” says Lindy Uehling, director of admissions and communication at Hunter College Elementary School.

And the pressure seems to be on the rise. Not only are more kids now vying for fewer spots, but it has also become common for parents to apply to a longer list of schools. “Even a non–math genius can figure out that if everyone is applying to 20 schools, it means more competition than if everyone was just applying to five,” says Cynthia Bing, head of the school advisory service at the Parents League of New York.

But before you start spending your weekends at open houses in Mamaroneck, know this: New York City offers more high-quality academic options than most cities in the world. Expert after expert swears that there’s a school here to put every child on the path to future academic success. And despite what you may have heard, your toddler’s future admission to Yale won’t hinge on her getting into the “right” school now. “The idea that where your child goes to kindergarten determines where he or she will go to college is a myth,” says Clara Hemphill, founding editor of InsideSchools.org and author of New York City’s Best Public Elementary Schools.

What’s more, despite the stress, the hype and the hassle, the secret to getting in is something we all learned in school: Do your homework. School advisers, admissions officers and parents who’ve been through it recommend taking the time before you apply to figure out which school best suits your child and your family. Here’s how to begin.