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And you thought curmudgeonly Vogue food critic Jeffrey Steingarten was picky. He’s a pushover compared to the quartet of kid tasters—Nicholas, age 10; Joshua, 8; Lulu, 7; and Bryn, 4—who recently sampled an array of birthday cakes for TONY Kids. After lustily digging into seven of them (three chocolate ice-cream cakes, four golden-yellow or white cakes with chocolate frosting), they rendered these merciless verdicts.
Cold Stone Creamery Chocolate Chipper cake
Lulu I like it. The cake is fluffy, and I love the dark chocolate. The cake and the ice cream really go together good.
Nicholas The cake part isn’t my favorite—the ice cream is my favorite because it’s nice and cold.
Joshua Yummy. The chocolate frosting is my favorite part.
Bryn It tastes like strawberry...yummy!
253 W 42nd St between Seventh and Eighth Aves (212-398-1882). Log on to coldstonecreamery.com for other locations. Cakes range from $11 to $69.
Maggie Moo’s Chocolate Heaven cake
Bryn Mmm. Ice cream and cakey parts are both good.
Lulu This one is very chocolaty and creamy and I like that very much.
Nicholas I like all the chocolate together on this one.
Joshua This is not so good. It’s too chewy and messy and crumbly.
183 Seventh Ave between 1st and 2nd Sts, Park Slope, Brooklyn (718-788-3900). For other NYC locations, go to maggiemoos.com. Cakes range from $24 to $47.
Carvel ice-cream cake
Lulu The outside is light and fluffy.
Joshua The cake part is good, and the frosting is yummy.
Nicholas I don’t have a favorite part of this one. I like it all!
Bryn I would eat this whole cake if I could.
Go to carvel.com for NYC locations. Standard ten-inch cakes cost $35.
The ice-cream cake winner, by a landslide Carvel
Soutine yellow cake
Bryn It’s my favorite because it’s very sugary, and I love sugar. I like the funny boy with the balloons, too.
Joshua The frosting and cake part is good, but it doesn’t have sprinkles.
Nicholas I don’t much care for the taste of the cake. It just tastes like flour—there’s no taste to it. I don’t think I can finish it.
Lulu It’s softer, and lighter and moist. Good.
104 W 70th St at Columbus Ave (212-496-1450; soutine.com). Yellow cakes up to 14 inches cost $24 to $112.
Buttercup Bake Shop golden yellow cake
Joshua This one’s pretty good. I really like the colored dots.
Lulu The cake is fluffy but dry. I don’t like the way the polka dots taste—they are too sweet.
Nicholas I like the cake, and the icing is really good on this one.
Bryn Yellow is my favorite color, and this is not yellow enough. It’s dry and it wasn’t tasty.
973 Second Ave at 52nd St (212-355-4144; buttercupbakeshop.com). For other locations in NYC, e-mail info@buttercupbakeshop.com. Cakes range from $22 to $40.
Duncan Hines Moist Deluxe classic yellow cake with Duncan Hines Classic Chocolate Creamy Home-Style Frosting
Lulu This cake is too salty, and the frosting’s too sweet. I don’t really like this one.
Nicholas Mmm! I like both the cake and the frosting, and the way they mix together.
Bryn Yum, yum, yum. This is not so dry!
Joshua I like the cake part, and the decoration here is the best. This is my favorite.
Available at most grocery stores and bodegas. Cake mix and frosting cost $2.29 each.
Baked NYC white cake
Lulu It’s very moist, but tastes like coffee.
Nicholas It’s mushy. And the frosting tastes like coffee.
Joshua The frosting tastes like peanut butter and I don’t like peanut butter. But the cake is good.
Bryn No more cake...no more!
359 Van Brunt St between Dikeman and Wolcott Sts, Red Hook, Brooklyn (718-222-0345; bakednyc.com). White cakes up to 10 inches cost $28 to $38.
The traditional cake winner Duncan Hines
The runner-up Soutine
