Gently used sex toys looking for a good home for the holidays
Mon Nov 27 2006
Every few months we notice this strange rubber smell emanating from the art department's central file cabinet/work space island. We are thus reminded of a semi-secret stash of comically un-sexy sex toys of varying shapes and sizes that are stored in this cabinet. There is a large, rubbery, male arm ending in a fist; something called "Mr. Jack" (an open mustachioed mouth with some sort of weird textural nubs); a Cyber Snatch (batteries not included); an anatomically impossible "Male Masturbator", etc. etc. You get the idea. Not only do they reek of unnatural petroleum byproducts, they leave a long-lasting greasy film on your hands that requires several hand-washings to get rid of (ewww)... We know this from occasionally playing catch with some of them to relieve tension on those late closing nights.
These toys were bought a year and a half ago for the 2005 Sex Issue, but since then, none of us has known how to dispose of them. If anyone would like to adopt any or all of them, they are available and ready to take home (email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.)
They were only used in a photo shoot (as far as we know), and the occasional toss around the art department.