Hey, Melissa Anderson: You Gonna Eat That?
Wed Apr 4 2007
Tell me, Melissa, what are you enjoying here?
I'm enjoying my mid-afternoon snack. I was going to have a spot of coffee with my Stonyfield Farm organic low-fat yogurt, and then in another half an hour, if I'm still feeling hungry I'll cut up my orange.
And if you aren't hungry in half an hour?
Then I'll take the orange home with me and eat it as my postdinner snack.
Interesting. Did you have lunch earlier?
I did. I like to have snackettes during the day. My first snackette of the day is a banana.
What time do you have that?
Anywhere between 11:30am and 12:30pm. Then around 1pm I like to have a handful of almonds, and then my lunch was a Mexican casserole by the Amy's organic company.
Oh, you're one of those people?
Yes, but I don't know how much longer I can keep eating them because they're high in sodium. A lady does not want to be bloated.
Now our coworker Amy Plitt thinks people should eat foods named after themselves—like, she thinks she should eat Amy's. If there was a line of foods named Melissa's would you be into that?
Well, there's a Sweet Melissa's Bakery, and I like a fine baked good, so yes, I would frequent Sweet Melissa's Bakery if it were in walking distance.
You wouldn't think that would be cannibalizing yourself?
I think I would make a tasty little morsel.
Back to what we're looking at right now, I notice your name is written on the yogurt.
Yes, sadly a few months ago there was a rash of thieving in the refrigerators of TONY in which people's lunches were being lifted by someone with sticky fingers. I would be very sad if I didn't have my yogurt snack, so every morning, sadly, I must write my name on a Post-it and tape it to my yogurt.
Have you actually had something of yours stolen?
No, but probably because I've obsessively labeled everything.
You didn't label your orange.
That stays by my computer. Same with the banana. And the almonds as well.
Out of a possible six stars how many would you give this snackette?
A solid four.
Because it's good for you, so by virtue alone that's five stars. But sometimes virtue can leave a lady wanting, so that can bring it down to three, and if you average them you get a solid four.