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Fri Dec 22 2006
Last day of work before the holiday begins, so you have to ask yourself, Do I really want to be doing actual work? The correct answer, happily, is no. A good way to reach the limits of nonproductivity on this lame-duck work day is Virtual NES. There you can relive the halcyon days of eight-bit bliss with more than 400 games from the original Nintendo Entertainment System.
Rediscover the fist-pumping excitement of withstanding Bald Bull's relentless charge in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! For that matter, you can enjoy beating up a veritable cavalcade of ethnic and societal stereotypes, from mustachioed Prussian aristocrat Von Kaiser to the morbidly obese King Hippo to disarmingly effeminate pugilist Don Flamenco.
If that doesn't blow your hair back, you can always take a trip back to 1990 with the ever-popular Tecmo Super Bowl. This was the first football game to keep track of statistics throughout the season and, as such, gamers felt obligated to make two-sport star Bo Jackson rush for about 3,500 yards or having Joe Montana air it out to Jerry Rice for 8,000 yards and around 70 touchdowns. And if gaudy numbers don't impress you, there is always the option of trying to win with impotent Steve Grogan at the helm of an equally helpless New England Patriots squad.
Sports not your thing? Try your hand at Rush'n Attack! This Cold War relic pits a Green Beret with a Rambo knife against the entire Soviet military-industrial complex. Clever punning aside, it is my firm belief that both this game and Rocky's speech at the end of Rocky IV ultimately showed the Soviets that their wayward socioeconomic experiment was doomed to failure.
If your boss does happen to cruise over to your cube to monitor productivity, a good idea might be to challenge him to a game of Excitebike. He will be less inclined to the anger-that-leads-to-untimely-termination if you prove your worth on the pixelated track.
Go check out these and other great titles of yore at virtualnes.com.