Photos: Jersey Shore dance party at Union Hall conclusively proves Brooklyn is the better borough

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  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

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    Jersey Shore Dance PartyWhy won't Jersey Shore go away? Why? What did we as a...

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

  • Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

Photograph: The Drunken Photographer

It's midnight on Saturday and Brooklyn's Union Hall has brought the Jersey Shore phenomenon to King's County. There are trucker caps, visible bras, fist pumping, orange skin and abs on display, but our photographer on the scene told us only three people really came in costume. Three!? How different this was from the scene in Manhattan, which saw the Jersey Shore Leaves the Shore Pageant at SideBAR and Jersey Shore's Pauly D deejaying at Sutton Place.

Since TONY is about to send you into a fit of apoplexy this week by jumping fist-first into the Brooklyn versus Manhattan debate brawl (Brooklyn wins*), we thought we'd conduct a comparative study of these events to tease out some of the defining characteristics of the boroughs in question. Hit the jump to find out what we learned.

1) B&Ters do not make it as far as Brooklyn.
2) Ironic Jersey Shore costumes do not trump ironic urban woodsmen getups in Brooklyn.
3) People in Manhattan have better abs.
4) People in Brooklyn put the creepy in creeping.
5) Brooklynites have more self-respect.

By our count, this indisputably makes Brooklyn the greatest borough of all time, but you can have your say on Wednesday (not that it'll matter, this is incontrovertible scientific proof). Of course, it could just mean the whole Jersey Shore thing is played out, but it's not and never will be. Like Pandora, once you open Snooki's box, you cannot un-see the horrific things you've seen.

*In your author's humble opinion.

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