Today: Wednesday, May 9 (update)

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Crap, readers! The cheese cave lecture thing is all full. The early bird gets the cheese, although actually I doubt a bird could really digest cheese what with that fickle crop and gizzard action. I had pet cockatiel and we had to feed it gravel. For its crop. Or for its gizzard? I can't remember, I was six. Regardless, if you're looking for something to do that's more inventive than staying home and watching Shear Genius, I know this great listings magazine that has all kinds of suggestions.

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