We were there: Night of Too Many Stars

Jon Stewart returned to host Comedy Central’s autism benefit, Night of Too Many Stars, at the Beacon Theatre Saturday. As was the case last year, it featured a seemingly endless array of notables—among them Ben Stiller, J.B. Smoove, Stephen Colbert, Carly Rae Jepsen and Sting—performing beneath the theater’s sunburst proscenium valance. Well-heeled benefactors bid on prizes including a chance to pee with Seth Rogen, a personalized outgoing voicemail message recorded by Eminem, and an opportunity to become Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s best friend for the evening. (Fey, Poehler and the pair of ladies who won for $72,000 were later featured in a slide show that progressed from scenes of eating shawarma and shopping for groceries to a meth deal, a knife fight and a joint wedding with a grocery-store clerk.)

Hannibal Buress’s set opened with: “I’m happy to help raise money for autism in the best way I know how—by telling jokes about pornography.” Another highlight was Bill O’Reilly debating with MSNBC pundit Chris Matthews on current issues after they inhaled helium from red and blue balloons, only to have Seth Rogen heckle them while eating potato chips. “Yeah, that shit just happened,” summed up Stewart.

Something no one saw coming, though, was an emotionally stirring rendition of Katy Perry's “Firework,” in which Perry was joined by a young autistic girl singing and playing piano. A video showed the girl slowly progressing through life and developing an affinity for music thanks to Perry. Stewart returned to the stage crying, along with a number of people in the audience, and needed to take a minute before proceeding.

When we caught Bill Burr at the after-party and asked him if there were other issues he’d like to see comedy raise money for, he put things into perspective. “I’m not that deep a dude. I’m not even gonna lie to ya,” he said. “I like anything that has to do with dogs. I love dogs. Dogs and kids. That’s what I like. Now watch, you’ll get complaints ’cause I didn’t say, ‘Well, what about adult dogs that have fucking prostate cancer?!?’”

If you’re not the type to pay $18,000 for a pee party with the Green Hornet, donations of $100 or more will get you a Game of Thrones DVD with audio commentary by Tracy Morgan and J.B. Smoove, which is probably worth the money even if it wasn't going toward a good cause. Visit this site to make a donation.