Your 1 Thing for today: Wednesday, Dec 20

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YOU TOTALLY LOVE HER

Oh, come off it, dude. I mean, just come off it already. You and I both know you aren't going to be shopping for gifts for me this evening, even though I've dropped copious hints and left you notes on the bathroom mirror (and we don't even live together and you've never invited me over, which, hello, time to do something about that maybe???? you think????) because you're too busy trying to get into Comix to see the Hot Tub Variety Show featuring Janeane Garofalo, who you've only had a crush on since, like, forever. I'm not jealous. It's cool. If I misspell your name in puffy paint on your stocking, don't blame me; it's just that I hardly see you anymore, and also, I'm not sure you celebrate Christmas. Your MySpace profile was kind of vague about that. Might want to clarify, just saying.

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