Your 1 thing for today: Wednesday, Nov 22

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OH, THE HUMANITY

If you do only 1 thing today, think about how much you miss me already, as by the time you read this I'll be in the air heading for warmer climes. Actually, by the time you read this I'll probably still be in line making quadruply sure I've removed all items with the tiniest bit of metal in them from my person, but that is beside the point—you can miss me anyway, and miss me you shall. Okay, but enough of that, because your clinginess is unbecoming.

Get over me by heading to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon inflation up at Columbus Avenue and 77th Street at, say, around 4pm. Watch those cheesy bad boys come to life! I once heard comedian Leo Allen say something like, parades are where people who have very little to do get together to watch people who have even less to do but are just better organized. Harrumph, I say to that, loudly. Sorry if I totally butchered your joke, I also say, very quietly. Whatever. I like the holidays and I like how people start decorating for them around Halloween, and I like houses that are so festooned with twinkling lights, they look like they're on fire, and I like caroling and yuletide and figgy pudding (the sound of it, not the actual thing) and tinsel and presents. I like crap and nostalgia goddamn it, and I'm coming out of the closet.

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