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  • Quiz


  • Are you a true New Yorker?
    Congrats for eating at Katz's; it takes a bit more than that.
    Back in 2003, we put together a comprehensive list of things you must do (or have done) to consider yourself a true New Yorker. And you know what? Those things haven't changed too much. (Makes us wish we had done this is 1953—before we even existed—so we could compare.) Check off any that apply to you, and we'll compute your true New York score at the end. (We've applied highly scientific weightings to each question, so you must get through the whole thing to know where you stand.
    Page 1 of 7
    1.
    Half-caf skim hazelnut mochaccino, extra foam? Oh, go back to the land of Jamba Juice and high colonics, you freaky Angeleno. We don't make our beans do some elaborate, flavor-infused fancy dance. We just grind them up, filter them through scalding water and pour it all into a landfill-bound Greek-ruin cup. One milk, two sugars, done. —Leah Greenblatt
    2.
    Remember when you dug around the back of your closet for that pair of shoes you hadn't worn in months, and one of them hid a big, shiny, multiappendaged roach that jumped out and ran up your arm? How about that time you walked too close to a pile of garbage on the Bowery and about a half dozen mangy, furry beasts leaped out of it and scurried over your feet? Or when you were in the shower and you saw a hair in the drain; you yanked on it and discovered it was the long antenna of a monstrous, disgusting water bug! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! —Soren Larson
    3.
    Any jaded bike owner (i.e., one who has suffered the U-lock futility) eventually resorts to bringing baby indoors. And unless you have a geeky fold-up number or live in a loft (damn you!) or a building with basement storage (double damn you!), your Specialized or vintage Schwinn becomes as much a space hog as your couch. Think positively: When the object is at rest, it makes for a great coat hanger. And you can always call it art. —Zoë Wolff
    4.
    You're walking through midtown on a cloudless summer day, when suddenly—splat—a drop of something lukewarm and wet pelts you from above. Did some sicko on the 17th floor just spit, or worse, take a leak? In your head, you know that the trickle is most likely residue from one of the countless air conditioners dangling on high. Still, your first New York baptism is rather disturbing. —Les Simpson
    5.
    We don't settle for the East Meadow, Strawberry Fields or—please—the Great Lawn. The beauty of Central Park is that there's so much of it; there's no need to gather at the obvious spots. Venture beyond the cliché nooks and crowded avenues featured in romantic comedies, and seek out the paths less traveled. A good place to start is the underappreciated North End. The Ravine (between 102nd and 106th Streets) has five waterfalls and is one of the park's best niches for bird-watching. —Leigh Belz
    6.
    It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. Sooner or later, some guy is going to flash his cookies in your face. It's doubtful that outrage, embarrassment or even amusement will be your first reaction. In fact, you'll probably be more annoyed than anything else. And since New Yorkers always have somewhere they need to be, this obstruction—even if it is a naked stranger with more hair below than on top—is barely going to slow us down. —Ann Lien
    7.
    Relatives visiting from less pricey burgs can't believe you'd willingly part with hundreds of dollars for just one meal. Truth is, they don't live near any place worth a splurge. And they don't understand the context: Upscale restaurants allow you to play the big shot—even if it is just once in a lifetime or once a year, or when your bank account allows. We're proud that we've got heinously high-ticketed joints for every cuisine—Nobu (Japanese), Daniel (French), Babbo (Italian)—with no expiration date on the bragging rights. The food's not bad either. —James Oliver Cury
    8.
    There was a time in the foggy past when you didn't feel whole until you got a dose of morning news from an NPR affiliate. But now we've got NY1, in all its ludicrous beauty. We can't head for the subway until we've absorbed "Weather on the 1s"; the wisdom of Pat Kiernan, whose slightly smart-ass deadpan becomes attractive over time; and the digest of local news stories, which means you don't even have to pick up a paper. You probably hardly notice anymore how low-budget the station looks. —Jules Verdone
    9.
    You know you finally deserve to be inducted in to this urban fraternity when you are out and about, and every last thought inside your head doesn't turn to the weather or any other pleasant diversion, but burns laserlike with a single message for whatever sidewalk stragglers are unfortunate enough to be in front of you: "For the love of all that's holy, get the fuck out of the way!" —RT
    10.
    Forget the big chain stores—we know how to outfit a well-appointed apartment by carting home castaways. It's amazing what you can find on the concrete if you keep your eyes peeled. Mint-condition bureaus, tables, desks and chairs are there for the taking if you're willing to do a bit of lugging—and if you aren't afraid of snooty friends making snide references to the Collyer brothers. —Bruce Tantum
    11.
    12.Be proud that you survived any of the following:
    13.
    14.
    Page 1 of 7




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