Best breakup bars

Dump with finesse! (And where to go afterward.)

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Highlands
Not only can you drop the line, “You take the high road, I’ll take the low road,” at this stylish Scottish gastropub, but you can also brace yourself with a fittingly named—and surprisingly delicious—Blood and Sand, a classic whisky tipple spiked with O.J., Cherry Heering and (what better for the occasion?) bitters. 150--152 W 10th St between Greenwich Ave and Waverly Pl (212-229-2670, highlands-nyc.com)

Burp Castle
Break up over Belgians at this hushed (literally) East Village beer sanctuary, where you can rest assured you won’t get yelled at: The bar staff asks that patrons keep their conversations to a whisper. 41 E 7th St between Second and Third Aves (212-982-4576)

Oro Bakery and Bar
Achieve the perfect twofer at this Nolita nook: Do the deed over coffee like a normal person, then unwind with a glass of organic wine when your thwarted lover hits the streets. 375 Broome St between Mott and Mulberry Sts (212-941-6368, orobakerybar.com)

200 Fifth
Breaking things off in a hectic sports bar probably qualifies as the ultimate d-bag move, but at least your ex’s primal screams could be mistaken for really enthusiastic cheering: “You are such a Knick (fan)!” 200 Fifth Ave between Sackett and Union Sts, Park Slope, Brooklyn (718-638-2925)

Madam Geneva
Saying goodbye at this colonial-themed speakeasy is less about maintaining a stiff upper lip (though the gin-based cocktails might help with that) and more about exit strategy: Pop out the back door onto Bleecker Street, or sneak into the connected restaurant, Double Crown, and disappear into the throng. 4 Bleecker St at Bowery (212-254-0350, madamgeneva-nyc.com)

Clover Club
Been cheating but don’t know how to tell him? Lounge on vintage couches and end things with an Autumn Tryst (cognac, apple liqueur, pear brandy, Ramazzotti amaro) at this Victorian-style cocktail den. 210 Smith St between Baltic and Butler Sts, Cobble Hill, Brooklyn (718-855-7939, cloverclubny.com)

Where to go post-breakup

Beauty Bar
Ladies (and men) in need of some pampering can get their nails did while they tackle the relationship post-mortum at “Martinis and Manicures” ($10 includes manicure and drink; Mon--Fri 6--11pm, Sat--Sun 7--11pm). 231 E 14th St between Second and Third Aves (212-539-1389, beautybar.com)

Brandy Library
This wood-and-leather clubhouse is the ideal spot for a contemplative tipple. Grab a snifter of Scotch and stare into the fireplace until life begins to make sense again (or you’re drunk enough to forget that you’re alone). 25 North Moore St at Varick St (212-226-5545, brandylibrary.com)

The Breslin
Eat your feelings at this hot spot in the Ace Hotel—the haute junk food menu is helmed by pork fat queen April Bloomfield. Who needs love when you have fried pig’s feet? Ace Hotel, 16 W 29th St at Broadway (212-679-1939)

Draft Barn
Feeling fragile, dude? Retreat to this Bavarian-style man cave for beer bread ($3), sports on the tube and an encyclepedic suds list. Pants optional. 530 Third Ave between 12th and 13th Sts, Gowanus, Brooklyn (718-768-0515)

Ward III
You’re in no state to make important decisions right now, so let the mixologists make up your mind for you—the bar’s bespoke cocktail menu asks only that you choose general ingredients and qualities. Just mutter the words effervescent (because you’re so not) and bourbon (because you so need it) and you’ll be well on your way to recovery. 111 Reade St at West Broadway (212-240-9194, ward3tribeca.com)



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Rick Rofihe
Rick Rofihe

BREAK-UP BARS (A Recipe...) by Rick Rofihe 1 sleeve saltines 1 cup sugar 2 sticks soft (like your heart) butter 1 pkg bittersweet (like the memories) chocolate chips 1 cup crushed (like you) walnuts Line cookie sheet with foil. Place saltines together on sheet. Bring butter and sugar to boil in pan over medium heat for 4 minutes. Spread this over saltines. Place in 400 degree oven for 5 minutes. Remove and sprinkle chocolate chips over saltines, then return them to oven for 1 to 2 minutes. Remove and spread walnuts over chocolate. Chill (yourself) for 2 hours alone on sofa while bars chill for 2 hours in fridge.